How I coped with depression!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
How I coped with depression!
2
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 12:28pm
Eleven years ago, my mother died. Being an only child I thought I coped with my grief pretty well. My father now was on his own, and as much as I wanted to help him, felt we were better off living apart. I had a full time job, so only saw my Dad of an evening, when I took him a cooked meal. My husband and I took him with us whenever we went anywhere for the day, took him to our caravan for a little holiday, had him to come to our house whenever possible. Then we saw him deteriorate. He wanted to be in hospital for some reason or another, not because he was ill, but because he needed company all the time. I found I wasn't coping with things, my family, my job etc., so when my Dad was in hospital, even though I'd see him most nights for visiting, it was a break - someone else was looking after him. Six years after my Mum died, my father died too. My husband and my sons cried, I couldn't. It was a terrible feeling, and I felt that people must think I didn't care about my Dad! As much as I missed him, I wanted to feel something but just couldn't. There were days, when I just did not want to get up of a morning to go to work, no metabolism at all. I'd lay under my duvet until two in the afternoon, and didn't care whether an evening meal was ready for my husband or not. I knew something was wrong, but didn't really know what it was, so decided to see my doctor. I told him about my parents dying, and how I felt, and surprisingly my doctor listened.He had time to listen to me. It was the start of me getting back on my feet. I was given anti-depressants, which made me feel very laid back!!, but each time I visited my doctor there was always time for me to tell them just how I felt. I've tried quite a few anti-depressants, and after quite a long time, eventually found one, that suits me and gets me up and about each day.I also visit a psychiatrist, who asseses me to see how I'm getting on. I feel I'm 75% of the way there. Now most of all, I once again have feelings. It's eleven years now, that my Mum died, and today took flowers to the crematorium, and cried. I'm 59, and was made redundant from my job just after last Christmas, so I'm in the process of looking for work. I could stay home, but I feel better for being out all day. Depression is an awful thing, it does take away feelings and emotions. I feel I've fought off an alien.......As I said just now, I'm only 75% of the way....maybe that's as far as I'll get, but I'm 75% better than what I was.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 7:21pm




Welcome to the board, Kate!!!!


I am really glad you found us, and that you took the time to share your success story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 7:48pm
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are very brave to keep going through so many difficult times. I'm glad that you have come so far. My antidepressants also make me feel "laid back." It's a welcome feeling for me after having anxiety for so many years. Though sometimes I wish it didn't take caffiene to make me more productive.

Your story is beautifully written. Are you a writer? You have a gift for it. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I hope you will stay around.

All My Best,

MariaC