I need help
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| Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:03pm |
I am having some trouble tonight coping with a situation that occurred yesterday with my husband. He told me that a female friend of his brought up the subject of "swingers clubs" with him. She said she and her fiance go to these all the time. She told him that she thought we should do it sometime, not neccessarily with them, but we should just try it out. She told him that it would help improve our relationship, and help me overcome my insecurities.
I don't know why I am feeling so threatened and upset over this. He says that it not something he wants to do and that his parcipitation in the conversation was minimal.
All of the security and strength that I had built up just came crumbling down for some reason, and now I am having trouble letting go. I feel now that what if that is what he wants? Every little comment he has ever made to me about my appearance is now coming back into my mind as a negative thought. Some examples are a pair of glasses I had that he didn't think were attractive, and one time he said he thought I should dye my hair blond.
Now all I can think about is will I ever meet his attraction needs? He told me last night that he loves me, he only wants to be with me, all he thinks about is growing old with me, that he wants no one else. I have been able to believe this for so long, but now all of sudden because of this conversation, I feel like everything he tells me is a lie.
Tonight he got angry because I was interrogating him about a conversation he had with this woman's fiance, and told me to just drop it already.
I am not close friends with either one of this couple, but we have gone out with them on occasion. I asked my husband how she knew about my insecurities, and he said that he has told her before in casual conversation how I worry.
I now feel that he is talking about me all the time, and that I am not truly what he wants. I feel that he can talk to others about our relationship, but yet he has trouble communicating with me about it.
I just don't know how to let this go. I don't know why it is bothering me so much. I have trust issues with people, and I don't have any real close friends or family that I can talk to. I know I depend on him too much for emotional support because I have no other support.
Please help me.
Thanks,
Anna

(((((((((((((Anna ))))))))))))))))))))
Welcome!!
*hugs