Follow up to My Friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Follow up to My Friend
3
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:56pm
I posted last week about my depressed male friend. I did hear back from him today.

He wrote a response to my lighthearted joke about not talking to me. He did say that he was making a 'feeble attempt to stay in touch with a great, great person (I mean it) through my rough time'. He emphasized that he was not seeking pity nor I will not give it. (but I do sympathize deeply with what he feels and I told him this) He did ask me about what I had been up to and wrote a short paragraph. He closed by joking that I must be picking myself off the floor at the length of his email.

My response to him was that I missed him and his friendship, that I cared (like it or not ;) and that I was there if/when he wanted a friend. I answered his questions and told him what's been going on with me. I know I can't take his pain away but I do want him to know that I haven't abandoned him, even though I sometimes feel that way myself.

It's not much, but it is more than he's said in many weeks and I let him know I appreciated it.

Thanks for listening.

Toni

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:15pm




(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Toni)))))))))))))))))))))))))


I am so glad he wrote back and that he appreciated your thoughts and being there for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 6:43pm
I had an extended email exchange with my friend today.

In summary, somehow he had come to believe that I no longer wanted to be friends (due to a very hurtful thing he did last summer) even though I have in the past months called and emailed to ask how he was. I clarified very clearly that

1: I miss his friendship

2: He did indeed hurt me deeply but I have long forgiven him

3: I want him in my life

4: when he is ready he can take the next step

He is giving me too much credit for being forgiving but was deeply touched that I still consider him my friend. He did mention having lunch together in hte near future.

I know he still has a ways to go towards being his usual self. Just send him well wishes taht we can get through it together.

Thanks!

Toni

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 7:28pm

So glad everything worked out so well!!


So many times we dont realize what someone is thinking till we reach out and ask honestly!!


COMMUNICATION is the most important thing in life!

*hugs