Had a nothing couple of weeks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Had a nothing couple of weeks...
1
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 8:24pm
Hi, my name is Cathy. I suffer and am being treated for depression, and I used to post here regularly a long time ago. Don't be surprised if you don't see me post here all the time - I don't have the Internet at home, I am at a computer cafe where you pay to use the Internet. I hope you don't mind if I can't be an "active" part of this board. Anyway, I am unemployed, except for some temp work that I do through a temp agency, and the company I have been temping for hasn't needed me in a couple of weeks, which adds to my depression, because I have nothing to get up for. I am single and live alone, which in itself isn't entirely a bad thing. I like solitude to do the things I like, but there are times when I get lonely too. But for 2 weeks I have felt "blah" and helpless and like nothing I do works. Like for the past 2 days, I told myself I would go into my temp agency to learn Microsoft Excel. I told myself this would be a positive step for me, and might help in my job search. Well, I got bogged down - I just didn't want to leave the house- and I blew it off. I called the agency to tell them I wasn't coming after all both times, and I don't think it's a big deal to them. I do think they probably wonder what my problem is, or think I'm a loser.

I told myself this week just to do one or two things a day - doesn't matter what time of day - toward looking for a job. On Wednesday I opened the yellow pages, looked up publishing companies,(which I am interested in) and made about 5 cold calls about what the job process is for working at the places I called. But yesterday and today, I did NOTHING. Just laid on my bed - made a hot dog to eat, watched TV. I just don't know how to explain myself to my agency if they say : "You said you were coming to train, and you didn't both days. If you're not going to come you can't use our computers." What if they say that? Has anyone else ever just not wanted to face society or the world in general? I'm just so unmotivated. Any replys and similar thoughts would be appreciated. I will probably check this board again tomorrow afternoon. Thanks a lot! Hope you all are doing well!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 9:04pm

Welcome back Cathy.


We understand about not having all the time internet access.