A totally frustrating situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
A totally frustrating situation
5
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 9:03am
Couple weeks ago I posted a thread in which I explained that I was breaking out a lot and that I was really depressed. Well, Im still depressed, I never broke out in my teens and now that I'm 20 I have this freaking acne. I went to the Derm and Im under treatment but I still have a lot of marks on my face.

I feel really selfconsious and I dont want to see anybody and go anywhere. I'm really sick of this situation but I feel that I I have no other choice but to hide from everybody.

It is so frustrating to see all those pretty girls with perfect skin and then to look at yourself in the mirror. I feel like a freak.

I just start crying. I think I cry every time I'm alone because I dont want to bug nobody with my problems.

The worse thing of all and what depresses me more than anything is that I've been regecting and avoiding this guy that I was clicking with. I do whatever it takes so he doesn't see me. This is really frustrating because before I got this acne we really had something special. You kow,Im dying to see him but I can't because I dont want him to see me like this. It seems like he noticed that Im avoiding him, and the other day that I saw him he seemed upset, didnt talk to me, and ignored me. I felt so bad and I know that things could have been different if I wouldn't have gotten this acne.

I think he doesnt like me anymore. If I could just do something to fix it. If he would undertand. I dont know what to do. Im afraid of talking to him again because I dont know how he is going to react and I dont know if he cares anymore.

What can I do? Should I just wait until I get better and then go talk to him. What should I tell him? What if he doesn't care or ignores me? What if he asks me why was I acting that way. He most be thinking that I'm a bitchy @*#^%.

I don't really want to loose him.

Please guys help me I really need your support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 12:00pm


Why dont you be honest witht hs guy, tell him that you broke out in the bad acne and that you didnt want him to see you like that, tell him that you were ambarrased or whatever and that you didnt mean to aviod him and that you are sorry and see if he wants to go and have dinner coffee you never know you just being honest about the situation may work wonders, he is probably confused and doesnt get why you just stopped hanging out with him.

I know how it feels to not like what you see in the mirror but it is acne you are on medication for it and it will go away.

I wish you the best of luck with this guy and I hope that he undestand where you are coming from.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 12:51pm
Hi sweetie!

I think Erin is right. Be straighforward with the guy. If he is gonna ignore you if you have acne, the guy is so not worth it. But I bet that it won't matter to him at all. YOu are a great person, and most likely he knows it.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 1:18pm
I agree with the girls who posted above. Be honest with him and let him decide whether he likes you or not. Don't put thoughts into his head that may not be there at all. (I know because I am guilty of doing the same thing with my husband)

On the other hand, let me tell you a few things about the acne. I never dealt with it until I was 25. It was like my body said... BAM! Your 25 now - time for pimples, oil, and all that stuff you missed out on. At 33, I still deal with it. You learn things that make it worse and things that make it better.

The problem is when you stress out over the acne, you make it worse - which puts you in a downward spiral. It happens, you stress, it gets worse, you stress even more, it gets even worse.... you see...

So... you have to learn to live with who you are and be content with who is in the mirror. I agree that it's hard to do in our society, but remember this: The men that I know have said that they would rather have reality in front of them that airbrush on a cover of a magazine. If you are concerned about what men think - don't be. Most men aren't as shallow as we think. It is usually the women that judge ourselves based on magazines... not the men. If you take care of yourself, bathe, don't wear sweats all the time... you should have no problem with the men. :)

Hang in there and go look in the mirror and smile while you tell yourself that you are a great person!!!! And do that at least three times a day! :)

Sam

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 3:38pm

Welcome back!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:54am
Thankyou all for your for your advice. I think you are right even if its hard for me to admit it. I should go talk to him. Its gonna take a lot of guts for me to let him see me like this but if he liked me before and he doesnt like me now for having some marks on my face, he is not worth it afterall. I'm sure he also has his insecurities too.

Next time I see him, I will try to talk to him and if he ask I will tell him everything. Maybe this is something that had to happen to really find out the real him. Whether if he is a mature guy or just an unsensitive jerk.

If it turns out that he is a jerk, I will feel really hurt but I'll try to get over it somehow.

You know what? He might think now that he's out of my league or something but he is not. (ok, ok, I wont put thoughts in his mind that I dont know of) The point is that I know Im not ugly for what other guys tell me, not just my Dad. LOL I think it might just be a problem of self esteem related to my breakout. Anyways I hope this will go away soon and that things get better for me and this guy some day. Thanks again I apresiated your advice. It is always good to see things from other's perspective. Hugs!