his sadness makes me sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
his sadness makes me sad
4
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:17am
My ex-bf and I broke up b/c he was/is depressed and wanted to deal with it without bringing me into the mix. It's only been a little over a week, and we spoke yesterday.

Now, he seems to be doing a lot better. He takes everything "one day at a time." But, he won't talk to a professional and he refuses to talk or even think about anything in the future. Originally when we broke up, we decided after he healed a bit, we could try our relationship again. Now all he can say is, "I don't know." I feel like he's playing games with my head, in order to straighten out his own. I've basically come to the conclusion that we will be broken up for good. However, I'm worried that he's not going to get back to "his old self" just by trying to face it on his own. I still care for him and worry about his health. He admits he has a problem and believes that he can get better, which is a huge step, but how can he do it alone? Anyone have any experience with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 3:47pm

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 4:54pm
I don't mean this to be too harsh either, but I think you need to stop recommending therapy to me. I am fine and able to cope with this, but I am scared for someone who I truly love. I'm asking for a little advice as to better handle him, not me. I was just wondering if it was "possible" to pull yourself out of depression without any professional help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:30pm


He may be able to deal with this on his own he may not, it is possible for people to cope and learn and see what is triggering their depression with out seeking the advice of a shrink or a therapist all it takes it alot of thought and alot of coming to terms with things and life in general.

Sometimes people get a it better by moving away from the things that are causing them to feel so down, weather it is a job other people where they live ect..everyone has their own triggers and we all deal the best we know how.

I think that it is great that you are concerned for him and ya he isnt thinking about the future maybe he is just trying to get thru one day at a time and not focis on the big picture but rather the smaller one and I think that is a good thing.

Do you feel that you and him splitting up has maybe helped him you stated in your post that you have been broken up for just over a week and he seems to be doing better, maybe there was something toxic in the relationship that was hindering him just a thought.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:33pm

People are sometimes able to pull themselves out of depression without professional help.

AcornLeaves