it happens in three's God help me

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
it happens in three's God help me
2
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 10:09am



Okay I went to see Marnie last night and I told her that I am moving out of my house and she seems to think that it is for the best I told her that my sister said to me that therapy isnt working and that Marnie isnt doing her job but what my sister doesnt see is all the small things that I have over come...

So Marnie thinks that the situation at the house was not making me any better and I just hope that leaving and going to my moms will help me out and help me get well enough again to enjoy my life, I am going to talk with her this weekend and just set some guidlines about the living situation since my mom has lived alone for 8 years now it will be an adjustment for her and me she doesnt go out but once a month her friends come over and only one stays the weekend but that wont be a big deal since I have known this friend my whole life she is more like family than anything else, I do not go out alot maybe once twice a week if that plus I am a quiet person so that will not be a big deal, we get up at differnt times she is up at five in the morning and I dont get up til 6-7am so I wont be in her way.

I wrote my mom a letter stating that if she will have me that I want to come home that I am sorry for letting her down and dissapointing her thru out my life and that I am lucky to have her and how strong of a person she is I love my mom we have had our problems but she is my mom and has always been there for me.

So anyways it seems that bad things happen in three's, forst monday morning my siter tells me to get out of the house then my accountant calls and tells me that I owe the IRS 1500.00 and the state of Connecticut 611.00 yes life is grand isnt it, next I notice Lola is limping on one of her hind legs she goes to the vet on Saturday for her shots so I am going to ask them to check her leg out also so now not only do I have to move and owe money to the government I have to find a home for my dog my angel faced baby and now she is injured all of this sucks so bad.

I also talked about my life with marnie last night about me not wanting to let go of the past I told her that my biggest fear in life is to be forgotten about to become invisible to others I told her that my dad leaving me when I was a baby made me have all these thoughts in my head that I was not worthy of love that I was bad unwanted not needed that I didnt matter to him...and now I feel this all over again with my sister Marnie says that I should feel bad for Jennifer because she is so controlled by Luis that it is sad but I can not help how I feel it is like all these childhood feelings are rushing back to me, I didnt think that I was still controlled by them but I guess I am its funny how one person can have such power over you even when they are not a part of your life..

I do not let go of things because I do not want to forget or be forgotten.

Sop anyways I am sorry if this is so confusing my head is a big swirl today.

Thanks for listening.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 10:25am

Honey, it sounds like you are paving the way for having things work out well when you move.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 2:17pm
Erin,

I'm so sorry that all this is coming down on you at once! My cat got very sick yesterday and is in the hospital now. It's going to cost about $1000. Hopefully not more. So I know the stress of that financial stuff with emotional stuff heaped on top of it.

Marnie is right about your sister. We both know what a controlling, manipulative scumbag Luis is. I'm so sad that he's continuing to come between the two of you. Does your sister know that you and he used to sleep together? I'm sure that she'd believe his version of the story even if you told her that. What a pain.

Can you pay the IRS in two installments, or something? The penalty for paying a few months late will probably just be a hundred bucks or so. It would at least give you some time to get the money together.

I'm saying prayers for you and Lola. I hope your friend can take her. I'm sorry that you won't be able to have her at your mom's house. It's smart to save some money to go to Arizona. I know you've been so unhappy at your sister's house for so long. But you never know what might happen in the future with your sister. Don't give up hope.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

All My Best,

MariaC