Don't know....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Don't know....
3
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 2:28pm
Where I belong???? This is the 3rd board that I've been to and I'm not sure where I fit in. -UGH!!!! I'm a misfit. I'll give you a little background and maybe someone here can give me some advice. Growing up I didn't have a clue what depression was. In fact, after college when I began working I remember my boss one day confessing to me that he suffered from depression. I remember thinking "Depression? That's not a real illness" I suggested he watch a sunset, take a nice walk to get rid of the depression. That's what I would do if I felt low and it worked for me. He looked at me and said "You don't get it" Unfortunately a few years later- I GOT IT. I met my dh at 18 and we married 4 years later. Everything felt perfect until I had gone off BCP to start a family. The anxiety and depression started shorty after I stopped the pill. My AF was all messed up and it took two years and fertility drugs to become PG. After my DD's birth I had a terrible case of PPD. My FP helped me through that with some help from zoloft. I then went on to baby #2. Zoloft got my through the PP. My FP and I thought putting me on the pill again might ease some of my anxiety and depression by stabilizing my hormone levels. I switched pills a couple times and by January my anxiety and depression went through the roof. My OB told me to go off the pill and see what happens. It's been two weeks so far and I am doing OK but today I woke up and the depression was BAD. It was pretty scary. Here is my problem though. I've seen a NP at my OB's office and she says it's hormones causing this, my FP agrees with this, I saw a counselor at one point and her only words were-"Wow, it sounds as though you have a hormone imbalance" My OB (who is male) disagrees and says my anxiety/depression are from outside triggers and I need more counseling to figure this out. So I have been very faithful to my yoga practice, I also excercise to help ease the symptoms. But during yoga I really monitor my thoughts and where the depression/anxiety could be coming from. So far I haven't come up with anything. I've been keeping a journal since the 4th grade (I'm 32 now) and I've re-read them and I've come up with NOTHING. Of course I've had problems growing up but I've really been lucky to just have typical growing pains. My girlfriend suffers from depression due to he abusive alcoholic father and a ex-boyfriend who assaulted her. I don't have that type of background so I am at a loss here. All I know is things get really dark and scary for me. My Zoloft was just upped and I'm coming off BCP, could the 2 things be clashing and causing this- UGH!!!! I'm rambling-Sorry!!! I hope this post makes sense and any advice would be helpful. TIA~Jenn
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 4:08pm


I am going to tell you what my therapist told me...

Stop searching for an answer..

There is no set answer to why you are depressed it could be a combo of things from just normal stuff that had happened in your life up until now things that happened to you things you heard things you saw sometimes people are just born more sensative to outside things than others are some of us feel more than others and we do not know how to process all of it.

I would seek another doctor see what they come up with have a full physical done some blood work done it may very well be hormones that are doing it to you.

I know with me I do not do well on the pill at all I had really bad side effects from it and thought I was going to die I am not taking Nor-QD and it is great no problems no side effects nothing I wish I found it sooner.

Now do not feel bad about feeling bad we all have good things in our lives and we all appreciate the good things but we are also prone to the bad stuff also, you know the saying money doesnt buy happiness well it is true it doesnt matter how many things you have tht are good in your life it doesnt mean that they will make you happy.

Having a journal is great yu can get those emotions out without having to talk to anyone I use it to write stuff out that I want to remember to talk about in therapy or if I just dont want to talk at all I write it all out.

I hope that in the end you do find what you are looking for and to be honest I would see another doctor and see what they have to say to you good luck.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 4:24pm

Welcome to our board, ((((((Jenn)))))).

AcornLeaves
Avatar for kimberlyndarrell
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 5:40pm
Hi & welcome! I think you fit in here just fine!! I agree if you havent had the 'blood work up' do it. That was my 1st step. Other than that I dont have any answers, Im very new to this depression thing. But my problem was just the opposite: BC pills knocked me for a loop! Im about to try getting on pills again (though this time a differnt one). HUGS