Hello...I'm Rose and I need a friend

Avatar for sadlass_57
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Hello...I'm Rose and I need a friend
10
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 8:58am
I used to come here all the time about a year ago. Caly was online this morning and I had a chance to chat with her for a bit and she helped me find my way back to you all. I hope that I will be able to come back here often and find support and give it also.

To tell you a bit about myself...I'm in Missouri, married with 2 children for a former marriage. My son is in Iraq right now in the Army and it has been 2 years since I have seen him. My daughter lives in Tulsa. I have 2 step-daughters also with 2 step-gradnkids.

My husband is a very heavy drinker and controls my every move it seems at times. He works nights so when he gets home he drinks a 12 pk everynight. Then he comes to bed around 4 to 5 am and wakes me up to yell at me about something that he thinks I should have done. I take care of the housework, laundry, shopping, bill paying, and the yard work. We burn wood to help keep the heat bill down and I even bring in the wood !! About the only thing that he does around here is once a week he sits the trash out. I know what you are thinking....why doesn't she get out of all of it...well that is easy to answer...I've worked my ass off around here and I am not leaving it !! I work part-time 3 nights a week at the local diner as a waitress...I'm 46 yrs old and I stand on my feet and run tables !! It's good money but hard work at my age.

Afew weeks ago it all got to me and I took a double dose of my meds...wasn't trying to hurt myself just wanted everything to go away !! They couldn't wake me up so an amb was called and I spent the night in the hospital in the ICU. He told all the Drs and nurses that we both would go to see a counceler but of corse that won't happen...he says it's no one bussiness what goes on in our lives.

So lady's if you want a very depressed lady with you here I am!! Sorry this is long but it felt good to blow some of it off. Thanks for reading this.

Sheryl...aka Sadlass_57

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 9:52am
Hello sadlass,

I am sorry to hear all the troubles that you are going through. I understand alot of it, though. I have a friend who is in a similar situation with the drinking, ect., and she is still with him because she's invested too much into it all and we sort of figure his liver will explode soon anyway. I also was married to an alcoholic and have suffered depression in the past, so to make a long story short, I did deliberately what you did and spent a week in ICU and almost didn't make it. Anyway, I ended up leaving him and my job and am doing so much better.

How about counselling for yourself, you need someone to talk to. I'll always be here to chat with anytime, but it's not the same. How long have you been on your meds, maybe it it time for a change. You definitely have alot of stresses in your life and I wish I could do something for you......

Take care,

Pisces

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 5:42pm
Hi sweetie!!

I grew up with an alcohoic mother, so I know what it's like to have an alcoholic in the house. I know it was a different relationship, as the alcoholic is your hubby. But that can't be easy, either!

I am glad that you are back on the board. It helps to have people to talk to, doesn't it?

I look forward to getting to know you.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 8:34am

((((((((((((Sheryl))))))))))))))))))))


Im soo glad you have come back to the board sweetie and I know the wonderful ladies here will take you into their hearts!

*hugs             

Avatar for giggles219
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 8:02pm
((((Rose))))

I could be your friend! I'm really sorry for what you are going through. Your husband is wrong, it is the doctors business to know what you are going through, especially when u have depression. If possible, when you have time, and you are paying off some of the bills, why not make an appointment with your doctor or therapist(if you are seeing one) and let them know what your husband says when another incident like what had happened to u by going to the hospital, so that they are aware of it. It's important when that happens, so that they would know the truth.

You know what? You were right when u said "I bet you are all wondering, why I don't I get out..." I was thinking about that, but then I thought of my own mother, because she is living with my father still and I'm here too(unfortunetely), and he is extremely emotional and mentally abusive(been like that all of my life, and I'm 25) and she feels that she can't even afford to move out. Different situation, but you are right at the same time, you do work hard, and it is your husband who should leave. I was just wondering, is there a way to get him out, in a sense to sober up? I just hope that he is not physically abusive either. Getting him out, say with the help with the authorities? Just a suggestion.

I must add that you are very courageous in putting up with this behaviour by your husband! I think I would end up going utterly insane...and trying not to right now by living with my parents for the moment.

All I know is that you seem to be a very strong woman, and I know at times, you just wanted this to end, but it will happen, just try not to take a double dose of your meds. We all care for you.

Oh, do you have other family that you could go to or stay with? Just wondering.

Anyway, I hope I helped a bit, and welcome to the board. It's a great board to be in.

Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 10:56pm
hi! i don't know if i was here before when you were here. i am sorry that you are having such a hard time. i won't judge you for staying with your husband- my mom has been with my dad for almost 30 years and everyone wants to know why she doesn't leave him. but she has her reasons. i am glad that you are back now, the people here are great and i hope that we can make you feel better. don't worry, everything has its way of working out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 11:09am
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Edited 3/21/2004 10:16 am ET ET by musicalle
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 11:43am

Welcome, ((((((Sheryl))))))!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:35pm

BUMP!






Blessings,






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400+ posts to Depression Support


AcornLeaves
Avatar for sadlass_57
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 11:27am
Things are getting even more out of control right now !!! My son is due home from Iraq any day now for 2 weeks of R & R, I've heard nothing from him since Friday our time in the early am...I'm losing it here !! I can't go anywhere with out the phone right next to me. I did go to work last night but had given him that # also so he could reach me there...everytime the phone rings my heart stops !!!

Hubby being of no help around here to help get things ready for him to come home...he's step-dad so he doesn't get my tears, or my pain right now. I'm so lost and I feel like I have so much to do to get ready for him to come home yet I can't seem to get anything done either.

I am wandering around this house like I am lost, I can't stop the tears, and I can't take my meds in case I need to drive to go get him at a moments notice !! Can anyone just talk to me here ? I have this site hidden so that he can't find it. It's like this is the only place that I feel safe this morning !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 12:00pm

((((((Sheryl)))))), I am concerned about you not taking your meds.

AcornLeaves