I'm just fed up & don't know what to do!
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 7:09pm |
I'm fed up with this! I cannot take this any longer with my fathers immature attitude by ignoring me. I tell him something important and he doesn't say anything. He doesn't say hello to me, and it seems whatever I say doesn't matter to him. Do I have to land into the hospital for him to care? Do I have to do something serious for him to wake up, and get over it, and stop being an a-hole? Yes, with his remark of saying "you could bury me six ft under" every time he wants to hurt someone, and I decided to tell him off, and end up telling him in the end to "go to hell"(out of frustration, b/c I'm tired of being emotionally and mentally abused) he just doesn't talk to me anymore. I'm a total nobody. The last time he was like this with me, my brother was in a major and serious car accident, and that had to brake the damn ice, because I was suppose to be in that car, but end up not being in the car. My brother came out with small cuts and a brooze, and that's it. It was a miracle that he survived. So, do I have to be in a major situation for the damn ice need to be broken???? Because of my flipping loans it is hard for me to move out, because on top of that, I would have to be paying private health insurance for myself, life insurance, and other bills, while I would be working(hopefully soon in my career). Some of you may be thinking, welcome to the real world, and I know that, because I took a two year sabatical and did all that before. The problem is that I can't move out right now. All my friends are long distance so it is hard to see a friend or stay at a friends house. Speaking of which, my mother decides to tell me that if I don't call this job that I applied for (I came back from school at 5:00pm...everything is closed) I would never get a job! What a great way to give me the motivation and great self esteem in trying to find a job. I was going to call them tomorrow, so, maybe I'll never find a job. I'm just a hopeless case, and no one would want me. I just love the positive vibe in my family(note the sarcasm). It looks like that my mother has no positive support for me. It just seems like I'm alone. The best part is when I went to chat last night, she decides to say.."Oh no, r u depressed again?" Gee, I didn't know I could pick a day when to be depressed, and the fact that I just wanted to be a druggy by taking anti-depressants, because it is sooo cool to be on it.
I'm just soooo damn fed up with everything. Right now, I'm thinking, maybe I shouldn't tell my father about graduation if he continues to be the way he is. I mean, what's the point??? He would just fake his way, and he wouldn't really mean it. He never had any support for me when I started anyway, and he also doubted me right from the beginning when I went back to school. He treats me different from my brother, and it makes me sick to my stomach, that being a girl sucks in my family. It's like, I'm very important or something.
I seriously hate my flipping life right now!!!!! I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't find it! Can somebody help me???
Kristina

Kristina~
Hon.
Dona
Mommy to CJ {03.21.03}& Chantel {08.10.95} Step~Mom to Carrington {08.12.92}
If you are comfortable enough to sit down with them and tell them how their behaviour makes you feel, then that could help. Just pick your words carefully. You could use "I" statements such as "I feel like I dont have the support I need" or something like that. Just tell them what you need from them. Tell them that you would like them to be interested in what you are doing at school and to tell you that everything will be ok, etc. I hope this helps and take care hun :)