hello

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
hello
3
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 11:07am
hello everyone i am new to this board , an i just need someone to really talk to ,


i am so tired of feeling depressed sometimes me an my hubby have been together for a long time an we got 5 kids an i sit home with the kids all the time ,i left home when i was 17 so i never got my drivers licencs an i still dont have them an everytime i ask my hubby about getting them it is always we dont have the money but if he wants something we seem to have the money an i have said something to him about this several time like the last10 years an i never get a straight answer i have had people tell me that he is jelouse,i mean i love him to death he is good to me he does not abuses me or nothing like that ,but you know i just want to be able to go to the store if i need to or take the kids to the doctor that kinda stuff,sometimes i think he avoids it because his first wife cheated on him an left him,an he thinks if i cant go no were i wont do that,i have told him that i am not his first wife but i still cant figure this one out an i get so depreesed sometimes just sitting at this house all the time all day everyday i really dont know how many people out there have the same problem i do ,but sometimes i wish i could find a big dark hole to climb into

does any one have any advice or been through the samething

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
In reply to: rainbowcolors2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 1:21pm
Do you have a general idea of how to drive? Brake pedal, gas pedal, etc? If so you should be able to get your license without too much trouble. Just an FYI: getting your license does not cost that much. Maybe $10 or $15. Once you are over 18 you don't need to go to driver's ed, just take the test. Go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and pick up the Rules of the Road book.You could probably order it online. Study it (it should be free), then go apply for your license. You will need proof of address - something with your name.And another form of Id - a bill, your social security card, voters card, anything. In Illinois,where I live, you need 2. I used my current license and a debit card I believe.The office can tell you what is acceptable if you call. You will also take a road test. Hopefully, your dh will be supportive when he sees you have done your homework, so to speak, gotten the book and are ready to learn. If you want to do this, you should go and do it. You are a grown woman. You are not going to leave your dh and he should realize this.Don't let his insecurities keep you trapped. If I had let my dh's insecurities stop me, I wouldn't do half the things I do. He is always so worried about what could go wrong. That's his depressin talking. Reassure your dh you love him, that this is important to you. Please don't let your depression allow you to stay locked in inactivity. I have watched so much pass by my dh because his depression makes him unable to get moving. It is ok for a woman to want to drive herself. Ask your dh what would happen if something happened and he could not drive? You knowing how would be very important. Good luck to you! You can do this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: rainbowcolors2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 7:20am
I am also a SAHM and getting out of the house saves my sanity. Your really going to have to try to have a heart to heart talk with your DH. Make sure he knows how important it is for you to have a little freedom. Try to get him to understand that it is "NORMAL" to have needs to get out of the house. Staying at home all day with 5 kids is hard and getting out to the Zoo, park, library would make you and the kids much happier. Make sure he understands that this is not about going out and cheating on him. It's about getting out so you can talk to other moms and having your kids play with other children or being able to go to the grocery store or Dr when you need too. Getting a drivers license is not a costly procedure. So money should not be a huge factor here. I really hope that you can get through to Dh. I know how important it is to get out of the house. Big hugs to you and best of luck.~Jenn
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: rainbowcolors2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 8:02am
Sweetie, I think the other ladies gave you some great advice. I was cheated on, so I know how much that hurts. But he can't punish you for that. I think a heart to heart talk with him would help. He has no right to keep you from getting a license, it's 2004!!

Take care, keep us posted.

Pamela

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