Building Up Again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Building Up Again
4
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 9:59pm
What I mean is I am building up to a big crash again. I know it's coming and I can't stop it. Things at school are not good. 7th and 8th grade teachers had a meeting after school with a psychologist to discuss the 7th grade. Out of 83 kids----over half cause lots of problems. I was relieved to know I wasn't the only one who has been having major problems with them----but the entire thing is just one big STRESS!

It's also the anniversary of my dad's death which brings with it more baggage. That was a bad weekend and the beginning of my depression. My perfect daughter had a boyfriend that was such bad news. It all came to a head the day my dad died. Too long a story for here.

On the way home there was an accident and I was delayed and by the time I got home I just wanted to sit and do nothing for a while. I also wanted to talk to my husband about all the stuff that has been going on at school. That didn't happen tho because I am married to a jerk and I ended up crying and he just rolled his eyes and left to go to exercise. He didn't come back for two hours and hasn't bothered yet to come upstairs and see how I am. I could probably kill myself and he wouldn't notice until he needed clean underware!



Just to make things more interesting, my daughter called and she had totaled her car. She's fine, but she cried for 35 minutes.

The bottom line is I am tired, once and for all and I am ready to call it quits. I just feel trapped and I want out.



Thanks for letting me vent!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: flute54
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 11:20pm

((((((Debbie)))))), I know this has been a dreadfully rough year for you at school.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 4:59am
I think Barbara gave you some great advice. I just wanted to send cyber hugs and I hope this weekend is a pleasant and peaceful one for you. Take care~Jenn
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 8:09am
{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}

Sweetie, please email me! I want to be here for you. You can email me ANYTIME!!!

Please don't take offence, but have you thought of leaving your husband? If you aren't happy in that relationship, it will affect all other aspects of your life. I didn't realize that you didn't have that great of a hubby.

Please take care.

Email me through my profile, ANYTIME!!

Pamela

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:31am
Hi flute54, Please dont give up! HUGS

Hey men can be jerks I know. Ive asked my b/f why it is and this seems to be the reason...if they dont understand why women are sad, then they figure there is no reason to be sad and then therefore there is no reason to help make you fele better. Ok no offense to men but what idiots! I dont think it is personal but it doesnt excuse his behaviour. What if you sit down and talk to him about it by saying, "I know you may not understand why I am crying sometimes, but what I want from you is to hold me and tell me it will be ok. I want you to listen to me and hug me and show me that you care that I am sad, etc". The other two alternatives I can think of are to buy a relationship book (Relationship Rescue by Dr.Phil is good so far b/c Im reading it), and counselling. I wouldnt be surprised if he refused to go to a counsellor. My guy is the same, and it seems that most guys dont want to do that. I hope these suggestions help.

Why dont you do something special with your daughter so that you can bond a little? Maybe you can spend an entire Saturday going to the mall and a movie, or do manicures and pedicures on each other? I think if you have nice quality time with your daughter at this point, it may help you feel better about yourself and you can bond together. Make her feel special like you wouldnt want to do anything else but be with her for that whole day.

Im sorry to hear about your father's passing. What can you think of doing that could give you some closure? How about every anniversary of his death, you write him a nice letter. You can keep the letter or leave it as his gravesite. I hope it helps and Im sorry if I have made you feel more sad about it.

I just want to let you know that there is always support here. Take care.