sexually rejected wife
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| Sat, 03-20-2004 - 7:42pm |
I was supportive with him all the time even the lack of sex is killing me.
three weeks ago I found on his computer all kind of bizarre porno material, pictures, movies etc. he has pics of very hairy and ugly woman, urine movies and all kinds of tales, that hurt me soooo much since if he has that material is because is sex drive is not as low as he made me think these 3 years.
I asked him why, and he told me that he doesn't know what's wrong bt he doesn't even feel to touch me, and the two times he did he had to see that material to get in the mood. He told me that I could search for sex and he would understand, but how does it work?? do I go to a bar to get a man or woman or whatever?? For me always sex was the result of a nice relationship and I feel so low, old and devaluated that I could never do something like that
I feel destroyed, absolutely destroyed, I have been in bed for three weeks, feeling so depressed, rejected, guilty, sexually incompetent and so on. I cry 10 times a day for the most incredible reasons.
Sorry to bother you people but I am new in town and I have not even a single friend to talk about this.

I know what this feels like. My ex husband did something like that to me but for different reasons that I don't even want to talk about since they are so hurtful.
My advice to you is this: Ask him if he is willing to work out the relationship and to overcome this. Then tell him that you both should go to a specialist. If he refuses, then you have to rethink this relationship.
I think that, if he is not willing to go with you to counseling and explore the real roots of his lack of desire, he is not working for this relationship. The solution is not to go out and be with other men. This will only worsen the relationship. Other issues will come out and maybe he tells you that but when it becomes a reality you never know how is he going to react. I think you should rethink if this relationship is healthy for you dear.
I got divorced after my situation. I am not telling you to do so, but that was the correct decision for me. After grieving and suffering the end, I reinvented myself and felt confident and attractive again. I lost weight, did my hair and bought new clothes. Got in contact with my friends and started to go out. You will be amazed of how wonderful life can be with new freedom.
Ask yourself about what things you like to do and go for them. Focus on you...
I found a respectful and different partner. And I feel better this way. But moving on was not easy. I know that dealing with sexual rejection is very hard and I could feel the pain as I was reading your message. It reminded me of those horrible days when I was constantly rejected no matter what lingerie I wore. You don't deserve this. I know you love him but enough is enough. A relationship is not of one side only, and you can not give it all.
My heart and thoughts are with you. You can email me if you want to. I am sorry that you are going through this and hope that your situation improves soon.
Blessings,
Aminah
welcome to our board flor00
I am so sorry this is happening to you.
Your story really saddens me!
Hi...I just wanted to add my 2 cents about your post.
CL for The