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| Sat, 03-20-2004 - 10:14pm |
I am new here and my name is Aminah. I am here because I need some support and to give support. I feel I am having a deppression again. Although I've been through some rough situations for the last two years, now my life is a little better but I find it difficult to feel happy. I am having a lot of stress in daily life issues but no major problems like my divorce two years ago.
I have an adoptive son which came into my life when he was 7 yrs old. He is a good boy but is having a lot of trouble at school. It has always been this way. I can not have children and this has been a major component for my deppresion. I love kids and not being able to have one has been devastating to me. I can not adopt internationally because I don't have the money for that. We are in the process of buying a house and can not afford this right now.Also fertility treatments don't work for me.
Reaching my goals in life has always being a struggle for me. But this taught me to be perseverant. I am a strong person in the outside. But inside is another thing.
I am feeling overwhelmed and tired most of the time. My asthma is worst than ever and recently was in the hospital with asthma and pneumonia. My body defenses are low and I imagine that depression is playing a role in this issue.
I don't know what will make me happy. I remember that when I got pregnant was the most happy day of my life. I thought that finally I was going to be happy. After three months I was told that the baby was dead. And that was the beginning of my neverending deppresion. I just can't understand why this happens to good people that want to be parents.
I am a vegetarian because I don't like to eat animals. And I suffer for them and because trees are cut, etc. I feel that the world is lacking of compassion. And this makes me feel sad. I don't know if you all understand me. I guess you do. I don't talk about this to no one. I listen to everybody's problems but don't discuss mine.
i hope we all find the support we need. I think that people that are deppresed are special sensitive humans.
Hugs and blessings to all,
Aminah

((((((Aminah)))))), welcome to our board!
First off, I want to say how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your baby. That is so terrible. I imagine that was, and still is, a very hard thing to deal with.
I am a really sensitive person as well. I was a vegetarian for 10 years, but started eating meat again last year due to lack of energy. Well, it hasn't helped, and I am seriously considering going back to vegetarianism. I agree with you that most people in general are very insensitive. I get so mad when animals are killed for going into cities. Hey, the animals were there first and we built all these cities and now they have nowhere to go. I also get really upset over things I hear and see on the news.
So you see a counsellor and take any meds?? These are both really helpful.
Great for you for adopting a child!! That is so wonderful to make a difference in a helpless child's life!!
Take care and keep on posting sweetie. You will get more responses tomorrow most likely, the board is pretty quiet on the weekend.
Pamela
I too am sorry to hear about your loss of the baby. Luckily, you have a wonderful son. I can relate to you so much because I cannot have children either. My husband and I had applied for adoption but then he got sick with cancer. He died three months ago and now I am wondering whether I could raise an adoptive child as a single mother. But no decisions yet...
I'm also a vegetarian and it works for me. Some people say you should start to eat meat but if you are getting the right nutrients, this shouldn't be a problem. You could have your doctor run some tests.
But honestly, I know my second depression started after I miscarried my baby, eight years ago now, and I think it's severely underrated what it does to a person. Especially when you want to have children so badly. Then all the tests and treatments... and you end up feeling less than a woman... Or at least I did.
You have given a wonderful child a home and perhaps that is your path in this world? I think it is a beautiful thing to be WANT to share your life with a child who has no parents, and I know you are a good person for doing this. You have my respect.
Do you work? What sort of things do you enjoy doing?
Hugs,
Jules