Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2004
Please help
6
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 7:48pm
Hello everybody.

I'm new here and I really need help. I've been suffering from depression for the better part of the past three years. I never know when it will be triggered but when it happens, I fall into deep despair. I feel hopeless, useless, worthless, etc. I've tried to reach out for help, but have been brushed off because people (friends, family) tell me that they don't think I'm the type who gets depressed, or they tell me that I'm being "dramatic", or they tell me to "get over it". I don't know how to let myself open up and ask for help, either, as I feel that I will be a burden to others. Lately, this has begun to affect my relationship with my boyfriend because he wants to try to help me but I can't open up and let him in, I've built up a wall that's so high it's difficult for me to tell anybody anything. I also feel guilty because I don't want to drag my boyfriend "down" into this dark phase with me.

I don't know where to turn for help. I can't afford a therapist as I don't have the money or insurance. What can I do?

I'm sorry if I've rambled on, I'm just having a hard time putting my thoughts into a coherent message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: i_mworried04
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 9:07pm
Welcome to the board sweetie!!

Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking. I am from Canada, so things work differently here. I am sure if you are from the US, some of the other ladies here can help.

I have found that people without depression just don't get it. If all it took was for us to get over it, well wouldn't that be nice?!

I have been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember, and I am 25. I remember crying over music when I was five or so. It is a hard thing to deal with.

Don't let people make you scared to talk about depression. It is a disease. If you had diabetes, would they tell you to quit taking your meds or to get over it? Don't put up with it!! You deserve to get all the help you can.

I hope some of the other ladies can help with the cost issues.

Take care sweetie.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: i_mworried04
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 9:15pm

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
In reply to: i_mworried04
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 3:22am
i just sat here and read your post in tears. i know how you feel. thats what everyone told me. i believed them and i almost killed myself so many times. i still have the scars on me from it. i hope it hasn't gotten that bad for you. but you have reached out for help.but if people haven't been there they have no idea how empty and alone you feel. this guy your with, he cares for you and i think he would be the one you could talk to about it. you need to make an appointment with your doctor. it's easier to write than it is to talk about. so sit down and write it all out, then give it to your man. that way it's not coming from your mouth and you won't feel like he doesn't believe you. it also will help get stuff off your chest and let him know how you feel. he will be a good shoulder to cry on, trust me your NOT dragging him down. he is there to support you. let him, you have no idea how much it helps. do not feel guilty for how you feel, it's not your fault. if you think about suicide get to the E.R. asap. you are in my prayers and you will overcome this. just hang in there. since you don't have insurance just go to the emergancy room. that is the best care you can get.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
In reply to: i_mworried04
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:27am
worried

I totally understand how you feel about ppl not believing you about depression. I also went through that with my family. The trick for me was to totally realize that I was SICK and whether or not anyone believed me, I had the right to feel what I was feeling. If they chose not to believe me, then I would find someone who did. Luckily for me, I have a very understanding hubby who made sure I got into counselling, etc. I think this board is a good place to start, because we all know how it feels. I also think maybe you should check into some sort of assistance in finding counselling. Maybe the state has no or low cost counselling services....check with your local county offices. Also, I know some churches offer counselling services to those who need it. Maybe you could ask around. As far as your difficulty opening up to your bf, if he wants to help, let him. Start out with the small stuff, kind of ease into it. If he remains supporting, then you can get into the tougher stuff.

I hope some of this advice works for you. and remember, you are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: i_mworried04
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:47am

Honey, there has been some wonderful suggestions and support for you.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2004
In reply to: i_mworried04
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 9:44pm


I know that in my area the county health department has a lot of services for depression, including meds., group therapy and individual therapy.

Also the YWCA in my area offers these services on a sliding scale.

I was seeing a therapist for about six months when my insurance changed and no longer covered therapy so the therapist lowered her fees. Often times if you inform a therapist or doctor that you don't have insurance they will lower their fees.

Good luck!