Thanks, (possible triggers?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Thanks, (possible triggers?)
2
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 12:17am
I would like to thank everyone who welcomed me. After reading other post, I feel more comfortable about telling you about how I feel. I was married at 16. In fact married, graduated and had my first child that year. Long story short, was a very abuse marriage in every sence of the word. After the kids where grown, I left and started a new life from scratch. 700 miles away. Lived on my own for 6 years. Then met the love of my life. Dated 1 year, lived together 1 year and then married. I was not going to be the fool. He was too good for words. Kind, loving,generous. Was always buying me gifts and even wrote me romantic poems for special occasions. He even rented a condo one time just so I could wake up on the ocean for my birthday. For 4 years this never changed. We both worked, played and relaxed together. 1 Sat we went shopping for a new cage for our latest bird, held hands, cooked dinner together and had a wonderful night. He got up the next day and packed 2 suitcases and said "I love you, but I am not in love with you" "I need time to think" I did not see him for several weeks after that. By then I had found out that the only thing he had to think about was which motel him and his inter-net hotty that had come in from 2000 miles away could stay in. So here I sat a 2 income family down to one income. A lease on a house that had another year on it, and a landlord ready to evict. My car ended up repo'ed. (of course his was paid for). I crashed and burned for 2 weeks. Totally unable to cope. Then tried to get back up, swallowed my pride and called work and ask If anyone could give me a ride everyday. That is where I am now. Digging my way out. I have no family or friends here. No way to get around but to work. I just wish he had been mean or hateful so I could see this coming, but he never was. I went thru the comp after he left and found evidence that this had been going on for monthes. It makes me question my own judgment. Some days I just want to curl up and die. I did learn that he lost his job over this. He worked for a very family oriented company. So now his girlfriend is supporting him. Sorry for being so long winded. This is the first time I have ever told the whole thing. Thanks for listening
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:41am
softstorms

I am so sorry for your pain, and I have to say I am in awe of your strength. All on your own you are digging yourself out of this spot you were left in. You have amazing qualities to be able to leave an abusive situation, start a new life, find the courage to love again, and then once again keep on fighting.

I know you feel down now, and you do have a right to that. I just hope that you can see your own strength and take comfort from it. I hope that everything soon straightens itself out for you. I will be sending love and support to you, hon. Take care of yourself!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 12:30pm

((((((Softstorms))))))), I am so glad you are here!

AcornLeaves