Another day...still confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Another day...still confused.
2
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:02am
I find it so unbearable at times to be in so much pain. I have been depressed for so long I have no clue what true happiness or feeling good is like. My depression is a result from by previous and only marriage. After so many years have passed my e-spouse wants to help me get help. I asked him why now? But I really didn't get an answer. I think the reason is the he has so much guilt because of the past. I don't want him to do something out of pity. I want it to come from the heart. He told me that I can talk to him anytime when I am really down but I think those are words that don't have much value. The reason that I am saying this is because I had recently a very bad night with depression and when I reached out for his help. He just wanted nothing to do with me bacause he had a date with this women that he is seeing. I totally understand that I am not married to him anymore and I am not his problem. He just totally confuses me and I pray to God that he is not playing with me because I am not strong enough to deal with any more hurt in my life and he knows that. I have in the past gone to another message board (not ivillage) looking for some kind of support because it's so hard to deal with this depression all by myself. Instead of getting support...I was blasted for what I feel and what I want. I am so glad I did not reveal that me and my e-spouse are Christians. I know alot of people in my life have a problem with that. But I feel that is their problem. I don't preach to anyone and I am not ashammed of my religion. Anyway, for a long time I was afraid to go to another message board for fear that people were going to be cruel again. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but I feel there is a proper way to get a point across and not be so mean about it. It's so hard to express yourself in writing. So until the other day I came to ivillage and posted a message for the first time. If you want to read what I had to say you can go to the board " Surviving Divorce" and under the general board my subject is "Confused" posted by Paws4You. What I am tryng to do is find the right place here at ivillage for support because I have no idea where I belong. Maybe I belong in a few places here at ivillage. But I have not figured that out yet. So many boards to choose from. I just want to belong somewhere that I am accepted. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:14am
(((((((((Paws)))))))))

I am sorry you are going through all this pain. I don't have any advice for dealing with your ex, because I have never been in your situation. But I do want to let you know that this is a wonderfull board if you are looking to be accepted. I have never met a group of more supportive ppl. And they will never be cruel. I really feel bad for your situation and hope that you can soon find some way to feel better about it. In the meantime, I hope a little support along the way will help you.

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 9:18pm

Welcome Paws4you,


You will probably find that there are many places you can post on ivillage.