More confusion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
More confusion?
2
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 9:49pm
Well in the past two days since I posted my e-spouse and I have talked more. We decided the first and most important thing to do was to get me into therapy. I have ben depressed for many years. I finally said ok and he said that he wouldmake the call and be with me every step of the way.Secondly we decided that we would take one day at a time and work on us slowly. As soon as we decided to do this he started telling me all about this women that he is seeing and that he really liked her and that they are just friends (hum?).He alsosaid that he did not know if he had a furture with her or if hewanted one (hum?). Anyway when he was talking about her I was so hurt. I started to cry and slipped fast into depression. Then he had the nerve to get upset with me because I now refused to get the help I need so badly. I just can't and won't do it now! No way! Today he tried to convince me to get help again and while he was doing that he was talking on and on about this women. He was mad at himself because he said that he threw a monkey wrench into this and now I won't get help. He also said he should of waited till I was in thearpy to tell me all about her. What the heck is he doing to my emotions? I am not strong. I'm ready to break. He knows that. I feel that he is playing a game with my heart. If he wants to be with this women...then so be it. He's only been with this women for two months. Well to top things off hestill wants me to go for help and work on us but...now here's the but part. While I am in thearpy he is still going to see this women and work on us. I don't think so! I may be depressed but I'm not stupid! I told him if you want to work on us I'm not going to sit home every night still depressed until I am completly better while you are with another women. That will depress me more. I also said I'll be alone while you are getting closer to someone else. Some thing is wrong with this picture. He still insists that I get help and see where we go from there. I think this is a big con. It's not nice to play with a depressed person heart and emotions. That could be dangerous.I am so sad right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
In reply to: paws4you
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 11:22pm
I totally agree with you, I would feel so sad if the man I loved was talking about another woman! Doesn't he realize that if he wants you to get help for your depression, what a wonderful help HE could be in your healing process? It would be hard for me to think he is sincere about working on your relationship if he is beginning to form a relationship with another woman. But, at the same time, if they really are JUST buddies, do you think that you may make more out of it than there really is? Please don't take offense to that comment, let me elaborate. For example, I don't know you personally, but I know how I am. Right now, during this depression, I have been feeling very insecure. I saw my husband talking to a pretty cashier at the grocery store the day before yesterday, and in my mind, I was thinking, Oh my God, he likes that girl... When come to find out, he was just asking her where the ATM machine is. Do you see what I mean? Could it be that your insecurity is making more of this than there really is? Or, do you think he has genuine feelings developing for her? Either way, I think that getting help for yourself should not depend on whether or not he is falling in love with someone else, it should be because you love yourself, and you are on a quest for happiness. If he is the type of man to start a new relationship while working on his current one, may I be so bold as to say that you may very well be happier without him? I wish that I knew all the right words to say, but I don't. All I can say is, I read your post, and I can truly identify with your feelings... and from one depressed person to another... please seek help for yourself so that you can be happy again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: paws4you
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 11:47pm

((((((Paws)))))), we talked the other day in chat.

AcornLeaves