Mope....:( some triggers

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mope....:( some triggers
3
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:14pm
I've had depression for many years now - I'm 26 and I've been this way for at least half my life...anyway, I've been getting treatment for it for a little over a year now. I also have anxiety and some symptoms of ocd. Anyway, I do therapy every couple of weeks and I take medicine. I have been from one med to another to another because either it doesn't help me enough or my side effects make me ask to switch. I started with Zoloft and couldn't stand the sexual dysfunction. I tried Celexa, which gave me headaches and didn't really help me. From there, I went to Effexor, which was great - but I hit a plateau and couldn't improve any further with the high dosage, yet my symptoms still required something "more".

So I'm in an adjustment period right now. I'm taking a starter dose of Prozac with a tiny "trail-off" does of Effexor. Every time we bump down the Effexor, I feel progressivly worse and worse. Furthermore, it's that time of the month, which has typically been a horrible time for me emotionally most of my life. I was taking birth control pills that made me moody for 3 out of 4 weeks. I changed to a different brand of the Pill, which helped tremendously, but for the past 3 weeks we've been messing with my meds, so I'm miserable again. :(

I just feel like crying for no reason....I'm extremely irritable...I'm shopping like crazy even though I should be either saving the money or using it to pay off my huge debts...I don't want to work...I don't want to cook....I just feel like I have every symptom of depression I've ever had, including wishing I was dead or wishing I was someone else...I can talk myself out of feeling suicidal by reminding myslef how many people love me and how hurt they'd be if I left them. That's kept me going, at least.

I just wish I was someone else - I'm sick of fighting this demon. I want to be one of those happy women whose lives seem perfect even though in reality their lives aren't as great as it would seem.

I just hope soon I can increase my dise of Prozac and hope that it works as good as the Effexor!!!

I'm beginning to feel like there is no right drug for me and that I'll feel like this for the rest of my life. :(

I think I'll call my doctor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:25pm

Are you seeing a pdoc or your regular doc?

    CL for The

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:45pm
I am seeing a psychopharmacologist PhD RN CS right now....all I know about her title is that because she's an RN CS, she can prescribe drugs, and that she is a psychiatric medication specialist. She evaluated me for bipolar at first (she evaluated me for everything, actually, because I have quite an assortment of "issues") - she claims I am not bipolar. My main diagnosis is depression, and she's giving me medication that will also help the anxiety and ocd symptoms...I had VERY scary ocd symptoms, and these resurface sometimes, but less so since I've been on meds.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 3:02pm

You know...I'd get a second opinion.

    CL for The