Well, It's over...
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Well, It's over...
| Fri, 03-26-2004 - 7:48am |
Well, I was pretty upset when my boyfriend decided to tell me that "we'll see" what happenswith us. I confronted him about it yesterday (mind you I've been in hysterics for about a week now due to all the stress and bad luck I've been having) and went over to his house to ask exactly what's going on. Because I was I was crying, I think he was being nice to me and wasn't completely truthful. He pretty much told me that he didn't know if he had time for a full blown relationship because of his boards and his new rotation starting on Monday. Why bother starting a relationship if you don't want to stick it out through thick and thin?? I haven't told him that line yet, but waiting. I think it's pretty much over. When we were sitting on the couch his body language was very distant and I went to kiss him and he pulled away. Kissed me but pulled away. And for those of you that don't know, we met through match.com. I checked his profile, and noticed that it was activie "within 24 hours" which means that he's checked to see who's emailed him or interested in him. That hurt pretty much. Why can't he just be honest with me. I can't even function anymore. I feel so hurt and betrayed. I gave so much into this relationship, and feel that I got nothing back. This past week has been pure hell to begin with, but he's been so distant. Everything that he said before feels that it didn't mean anything. He'd talk about me visiting this summer, and going to a wedding with him, and he wanted me to meet his friends, and now he doesn't know if he has time for a relationship. I can't take much more bad news.
Trix

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Lisa-)
Oh Honey,
I am sending you big hugs I hope you can feel them from over the net....
This guy does not know how great you are and what he is letting go of but he will see it when you are gone.
I am so sorry that you have all this crap going on in your life and the added stress is not needed but in time things will get better, I know that is doesnt sem that way now but trust me no bad things last forever.
I wish that there was something that I could do to make you feel better and to take away the hurt just know that we are all here for you when you need us.
Erin
(((((Erin, honey))))), I'm so sorry to hear this.
Honey, since you can't get to your therapist, if it gets to bad, don't forget that it is okay to call the Suicide Hotline.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It is agony. The worst seems like the not knowing, but knowing might be worse. I never can figure out which is worse. I don't know anything about this particular guy, but I can't stand cowards who just pull back and either don't try to work it out, or don't give you closure so you understand what's going on. He probably doesn't know himself. I know that doesn't help, but it's usually the case with men. Young men especially can be addicted to just shallow, short relationships, then run away when things get intimate or require any kind of giving on their part. Sadly, this is usually the case with men in their 20s and sometimes even their 30s! They haven't been expected to give to others like we have, so they just take and then throw people away. It hurts like heck. It's agony. But it's not personal. That's the most important thing to remember. One of the best books to read when you break up with a selfish man is Smart Women, Foolish Choices. It always helps me put things in perspective during those times. Women Who Love Too Much By Robin Norwood is awesome too. Both of books can give you answers your boyfriend will never even know himself.
My prayers are with your, Sweetie. We know what a caring, giving person you are. You deserve so much more than to be with a taker like him.
All My Love,
MariaC
sorry to say that you can meet alot of creeps online. alot of guys lie about looking for relationships when all they want is a bit of fun, then when it gets too complicated they look elsewhere. this isnt just online, of course, but prevalent everywhere, and not to be sexist its not just men who operate this way.
you are feeling disposable, and that is never nice. but try not to take it too personally. from what you write, it is obvious he is no longer interested in you but just doesnt have the nerve to be upfront about it. they never do, do they!?
my advice, move on. because expecting or hoping he will change his mind or come around is just going to end up making you more depressed.
i wish that men didnt have the ability to make us so sad. but they do. if i had a dollar for every day i was sad due to something a man did or said, i would be rich. wouldnt we all.
in most cases, i think it gets easier with age as relationships (hopefully) tend to be less superficial on both sides
keep your chin up, girlfriend, and why not check your own messages on the match site in the meantime:)
bwhiskey
my boyfriend now backed off after we had been dating for about a month. i couldn't see, even months later, why he wasn't right for me and what the reason was. i was ok, but confused and i missed him. it ended up it was one of those rare cases where it's not an excuse and he really was scared (there is alot more to it, you'll have to trust me) and we started dating again (after him really proving to me that he was a good guy and telling the truth)- we have been dating for 7 months now and things are amazing.
point is, you never know. things happen, and at the time they seem confusing and terrible, but in the end the truth comes out. and you usually see that there was a reason and things end up for the best.
i know it sucks right now, but i promise it will work out. he may come around and be better than ever, or you will find someone so much better and realize that you are happy he is gone so you could find this new one! i'm sorry things are icky right now. just know that things will be ok in the end.