Gonna admit something to you all!
Find a Conversation
Gonna admit something to you all!
| Sat, 03-27-2004 - 10:13pm |
Hubby has been on my butt lately for NOT eating.
| Sat, 03-27-2004 - 10:13pm |
Hubby has been on my butt lately for NOT eating.
I don't know too much about eating disorders, but you sound like you have one. There is another woman who posts on this board who uses diet pills to excess. She doesn't feel like she has an eating disorder either, but that is usual for people who have eating disorders.
I understand the pressure we have as women to be thin. I used to model and I forced myself to not eat back then, but it was torture. I like food way to much to be able to do that anymore.
Eating disorders are a disease unto themselves. The eating disorder board is the best place to discuss this issue. They can give you better insight than we can.
The address for the ivillage eating disorder website is:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bheating
They will have articles you can read there to help you understand, as well as other women who know what you are going through.
You don't have to be embarrassed of ashamed of this behavior, Dona. Women are judged so much on our appearance that this is a very common disorder. It is a disease, just like depression is a disease.
Good Luck,
MariaC
((((((Dona))))))), I agree with Maria's recommendations.
I agree with the others but I also think it might not be quite so bad. You say it's only been since you wanted to lose the weight you put on in pregnancy. Well, you have managed to do that. The Ephedra pills are really bad for your body but I can also understand you being scared of stopping them. You probably think you'll gain an awful lot of weight once you stop them and start eating normally again. I can reassure you on this point; as long as you eat healthy foods, and take exercise, you will not gain too much weight! You say you don't binge and that is good.
I think it's a good idea to join the other group. Also, you should talk to your doctor about this. Try to stop the pills, and try just a bite at mealtimes. No force. Just see how it goes. Take a bit more every day. And get into an exercise program, one that you an do with others and that will help you learn to love your body.
You need your energy for yourself and your family. If you haven't noticed lethargy yet, that's probably due to the pills. You need to eat! But nobody wants you to stuff yourself and become overweight again and it won't happen. Perhaps you should look in the mirror (not wearing the oversized clothes) and appreciate your body. It must be strong and beautiful: you bore a baby! How wonderful is that?
You could also think about your weight now; are you too thin; do you need to gain weight to become healthy, or are you physically healthy and you just need support to help you learn healthy eating habits again?
Most of all, I am so glad you posted. It's a brave thing to do and I you definitely need some support.
Dona,
Hi I think that I am the person that MariaC had talked about in her post to you but I am not too sure....
My name is Erin I had a baby almost 6 years ago he will be 6 in July and is an awesome little man, when I got pregnant I used it as an excuse to eat everything in sight I went from 100 pounds to 185lbs the day I gave birth I was 185 pounds ya I was huge.
About 3 months after my son was birn I went out and baught diet pills 6 years later I still take them on and off sometimes I dont have the money to buy them so I watch what I eat I make sure I only eat one time a day and thats it usually in late afternoon I take the diet pills with ephedra and I take water pills and I used to purge never binge eat but if I did eat a meal and I felt full I would vomit so my one meal a day ended up in the toilet literally I faught to stop doing that I had lost my voice from vomiting Imy eyes had sunken back into my head and lost all color my skin was horrible my body always hurt so it took all I had to stop that one thing and it is still hard....
I kept the diet pills it is a mental addiction not a physical one I also have a fear of getting fat I also have a fear of not being good enough pretty enough I equate thin with good fat with bad not with anyone else just with me I do not think anyone is fat I see everyone as perfect and me well not perfect...
I take the diet pills to keep me from eating the ephedra to give me energy I excersize almost 7 days a week I used to work out 2 hours a day everyday and if something happened to where I could not work out I would have a panic attack I would get all sweaty and nervious and I would freak out I used to pinch my flesh and call it fat I still think I am huge I gained about 15 pounds in the past year they tell me it is muscle since I work out but I dont see it that way I went from around 90-93 pounds to about 108 that is alot for me my clothes still fit some are too big but still for me 108 is alot and it is very hard for me to accept my therapist tells me that I need to try to work on this but I cant I am not ready I do not see the problem...
the reason why I am telling you all of this is because it is a huge problem and it is an eating disorder whether you want it admit it or not it is you are doing the same exact thing that I am doing and to be honest with you basically you are killing yourself to be blunt just as I am killing myself I am not trying to be mean or rude just honest I understand that you may not be ready to stop just like I am not ready it is hard it is a disease just like anything else and it can be treated but only when you are ready my therapist told me that one day I will wake up and just be tired of living the way I do I tell her that maybe I will be like this forever and she says she hopes not I listen to her because she is recovering from an eating disorder so she has experiance with it she kows the signs she knows what can happen to me I have problems I get body aches I have bad teeth from the lack of food and the vomiting thankfully I over came the purging and the color of my eyes has come back my skin is a little better but the fear is still there.
Dona for 6 years I have been this way for 20 years I have been on a diet watched every bit of food I ate and I am only 29 I was around obese people my whole life when I ate they would tell me dont eat tooo much you dont want to be fat like so and so and I would stop eating and throw out the food, I know how you feel maybe better than anyone else here I am very honest about what I have done and gone thru I am very open about it I do not like to hide things the thing that you need or at least should try to do is have a talk with youself find out why you started why you are afraid to stop it is much much deeper than having the baby there is more to this fear write it all out you will find the answer the other baords are good suggestions I went there for help and basically ddint get any support at all I tried several times to get info but no one was really ever around so I left and didnt go back.
I am sorry if I am all over the place with this my thoughts are faster than my fingers.
We are all here for you and I am sorry if I said anything that upset you I just wanted you to know that I understand where you are right now you can overcome it all but only when you are ready and tired of it all I wish you the best of luck please feel free to email me anytime thru my profile...
I hope that I helped even just a little bit.
Erin