out of my depth
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| Tue, 03-30-2004 - 1:34pm |
I am so frustrated. I woke up okay, the kids were gone (except for the 5 yr old), I felt rested, and the to do list for today was not scary for once. I did everything I was supposed to. Did my little affirmation, etc. Then things went downhill.
I tried to clean. the house is a pig sty, and I am so sick of it. I want to have a HUGE garage sale may 1, and I really need to get going on preparing. So here I was, vacuuming the floor, and the vacuum blows up. Smoke everywhere, this terrible smell, the works. So I give up on that and call the hubby to tell him. He is pretty sure he can fix it (thank god). Then I notice my 5 yr old has ground clay into the carpet, and it won't come out. So the little one wants a bath, great. Clean is good, but she manages to get water all over the floor till it started trickling out of the bathroom and out into the rest of the house. So then I was cleaning that up, and she starts whining she wants to go get a poster to color (I did promise), and she wants to go to McDonald's while we are there, etc. I feel so unsuited to this whole mommy homemaker thing!
I don't have the patience, I don't have the know how, and I am so upset. I feel like I can't do anything right and I should just give up. It's not right that I should keep doing everything right and life keeps kicking me in the butt. I still don't know if I have cancer or what, which is stressful. My job pays so little it almost isn't worth it, and they keep cutting my hours. The kids keep being out of control, I just want to crawl into a hole and give up.

Hi Sara!
Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs going so you need to be gentle with yourself.. There are 2 things you can do to ... first off I dont say you have to live in a pig sty but keep in mind that the house and the dirt will be there long after the kids are grown and that very few houses with little kids in them are ever totally clean except on TV
*hugs