Feel like there is really no hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Feel like there is really no hope
6
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 4:55pm
I have always been a strong person. I have been fighting major depression for over 17 years. However, I feel now despite all the medication I take, therapy, etc. that there is really no hope for me. My health is continually bad and I am nearly always in pain. (I won't even go into all kinds of illnesses I have suffered from. However, one that has been with me for years is Migraine headaches.) I found out I never can have kids. I hate my job. I feel like I am cursed. I have fought my inner devils and those devils have won.

I am at my wits end and do not know what to do. I am sick of crying and struggling. I am sick of having anxiety attacks and feeling so worthless.

SA

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 6:52pm

((((((((((((((((Selena))))))))))))))


Im not sure what to say right now sweetie,, but I wanted you to know that we are here for you!


I know the fight is hard sometimes, but giving up is not the answer.. talk to us if you need to hun or better yet .. can you call your Therapist?

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 8:36pm
Selena I know how you are feeling right now! Life is so hard sometimes and despite all of our efforts we feel bad. It is during these times that I try and get more rest and exercise and do things that make me feel good. Little things like getting a favorite food for myself watching a good movie or looking through my old photos and remembering the good times! Everyone has ways they try and cheer themselves up- you need to find some for yourself- Is there a solution to any of your problems? what can you do to make your life better? I would also suggest calling your therapist something that has happened is making you feel this way! Keep trying I know it is hard but you will get better!! Take care Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 9:48pm
I'm so sorry, SelenaArtemis...I wish I knew what to say to help...all I can say is that I feel very much the same way (I'm even having a migraine today, so I can relate to that as well!). I am also very sick of struggling through life and never seeming to get anywhere. I hope that things will change soon for both of us...I am going to try to take an active role in feeling better, as hopeless as even that sounds to me...and maybe tomorrow will seem a bit brighter.

Hugs,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 12:00am
Selena,

This is what i always try to do whenever i get too close to the edge....

Stop and think about those closest to you. How would they feel if you were gone. Do you really want to cause them that much pain? I believe there is a reason for our existence. Once you have taken care of the things that ONLY YOU CAN DO that is when the time is chosen for you to go. You have no idea how much of an impact you've had on other people's lives and what impact you will make. 10 years from now you may make one statement that will stick with someone and help them turn there life around for the better. Do you want to take that away from them?

I know its hard to think positive when you're at the bottom, i struggle every day,but together we can do great things and make this a better world for the generations to come.

I love you as I love all

And I truly believe your life is important to us all

lots of hugs from here in Tennessee,

Patience

(see you've made a difference already, writing this letter to you has made me feel better about myself and my life, keep in mind...u don't always see the results ofyour existence) I love you sister.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 12:57am
SA,

I am sorry that you are suffering so much. I've struggled with depression for about 31 years. I've had a few health problems and immense pain from a car accident almost three years ago. I have not been able to dance since the day of the accident. Dance has always been my greatest love in life.

I have only had one migraine in my life, but it was crazy how painful it was. I'm so sorry that you deal with on a regular basis. What a nightmare.

I have found a lot of help with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I still have dark times, but they have been lessened this past year after several months of CBT. I've had other types of therapy, but CBT has worked best. I'm also on Paxil. It has it's side effects, but I can feel how it helps me. I also use chocolate as a mood elevator.

I've had jobs that I hated before. They poison your whole life. Is there any way you could look for another job? Have you tried lately? I know it's a tough economy, but having a job you hate eats away at your sanity. I've been there.

I think that it's possible to create more happiness in your life, even after years of depression. There's no quick fix, as we both know. I've tried to weed the toxic people out of my life, especially my psychopathic family. I've tried to increase activities that I enjoy doing. I have job in life now. Not every minute. Not even every day. But for years I had no sense that life was worth living at all. Now I feel joy in nature again and in some experiences. It is great progress for me. I was in a deep depression for 7 years after my divorce that left me hopeless about the point of any of this.

Have you ever seen a book called "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns, MD? It has really good CBT exercises. It gives you systematic ways to challenge extreme, perfectionstic thinking, which is a major characteristic of many people who have depression. I know that I tend to think in all-or-nothing terms. It's difficult to change these patterns. The book is best in conjunction with a therapist who is good at CBT. CBT has the greatest success rate with depressed people.

I don't know if you have already had this kind of therapy. It helped me, so I wanted to share it with you.

Take Care,

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 2:21am
selena girl hang in there. i understand fully what it means to not be happy in just about anything. a few years ago i was in a really bad relationship (ok just got out of another that made me depressed all over again) and having problems at work.

one of the best things i did was take time off from work. i dont kno if you are allowed vacation/sick leave that is paid or not or if it is acrued (sp?) each month/year but if so maybe you can look into that. I took 2 months off and it was probably the best thing i have done for myself. i took time to do what i love, spend time with family, write my stories (my stress/depression relief sometimes) etc.

hang in there, we all have been there and from the help i've gotten here so far, we all are here for each other!

sarah