eating disorders info please read

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
eating disorders info please read
3
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 1:07pm
ALot of you know my history here on the board

I went to therapy last night told her about the chaos thing said the quiet in my life is making me a little anxious trying to find way to keep me busy so I baught a balance ball and I am adding to my work out routine so I am happy going to use it for the first time tonight.

Here is my question ....

I used to take diet pills with ephedra in them I used to vomit I used to take laxative now I no longer take the laxatives although at times I am tempted to figure those plus the water pills would help alot.

I do not vomit anymore I did once or twice within the past few months but I have faught tooth and nail to not do it.

I ran out of diet pills and I need to buy more I ran out about 2 -3 weeks ago getting a little nervious about it all fear I guess.

I eat about once a day I have a fear that once I start to eat I will not be able to stop hense the diet pills...

thing is when I eat sometime sI beinge I can eat all day and be okay and not full or when I get hungry I will eat way too much food.

My fear gaining weigh being fat, my therapist says that I look fine I went from 90 pounds to about 105lbs so I gained weight my therapist is in recovery from an eating disorder so I trust her in what she says to me since she understands..so her and I are talking and she tells me that I could put on 15 pounds and still be okay I almost died when she sad that she thinks that I will most likley have a life long battle with this that I may always have a fear and issue with food and I kinda agree with her, I just dont want to think of myself as having an eating disorder.

I told her that I felt I was happier at 90 pounds she just looked at me and said no you were not happier, she them reminded me how I looked how I was working out twice a day 7 days a week how I would have an anxiety attack if I could not work out how even if say I had a broken leg I would find a way around it just to work out and if I could not work out I told her I would starve myself...so I guess I was not happier but I was thin back then...

I know that this is not an eating disorders boards but to be honest the one here I do not like no support and I know I do not have an eating disorder just a strong desire to be small..

Well anyways just need to see what others thought about htis..thanks

Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 1:25pm

Erin, I'm really glad

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 3:20pm
(((Erin)))

Sweetie, I don't know what to say. Why do you feel that you need to be so thin? I don't know you, have never seen you, but I think that Marnie is right. You can probably stand to put on weight. I just don't think those diet pills are safe. I am so happy to hear that you are no longer throwing up!! Yay!! You said that you have a strong desire to be thin, and not an eating disorder. What do you think a person with an eating disorder thinks? That isn't meant to be sarcastic or mean, I just want to know what having an eating disorder would mean to you.

Take care

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 11:05pm

Hi Erin,


I was going to direct you to the Eating Disorders board but I see that you already have been there.

IVHealth Ruth Ann
Community Leader/Ask the Health Librarian