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| Thu, 04-01-2004 - 2:18pm |
Well were do I start? I have known for along time that i wasn't feeling right. I was always an out-going bubbly person. Happy go lucky was I. But it all changed after I had my dd 6 years ago!
I just did not feel like my self anymore. Fast forward to the present:
Last week was hell. I have been dianosed with the slight chance of having ADD (great news huh?) Well last week my mouth go me into trouble, and dh was (is still) mad at me. Sometimes I cannot control what comes out of my mouth, words come out before i have chance to think about it.
I called my Dr. on Friday (in tears) but I could not get in until yesterday (3/31). I went and I sat there and cried. I told him I cannot do anything right. I feel like a failure. He listened to me cry and told me he is going to help me. He thinks that i am Bi-Polar (omg!!)
He gave me meds to start. I see a psych. next week.
My world is so messed up. I have such deep emotional pain all i want to do is cry. DH is NOT supportive. He thinks that i am just making up excuses to be dumb and lazy. And I'm not, really I'm not. He thinks that ADD and Depression is a bunch of crap and it is easy for me not to "talk" to anyone and just be quiet. He refuses to listen to me, hear my cries for help (if you'll call them that". He says he doesn't have time for this stuff.
Some days a hug would make me feel 100% better, but can I get that? No he just says he's too busy for that and walks away and leaves for work or what ever. I cannot work outside my home becuase i have lost so many jobs for carelessness, short attention span, not catching on right away , or poor judgement.
So this is all jumbled up sorry, but i just had to vent.
Anyone else bi-polar on this board?
Daisy

Sweetie, I am sorry that you are having such a rough time right now.
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but your husband needs to be more understanding. Depression is not something imagined. Lots of people feel that way, because depression is something where you can't really see the deterioration (sp?)of the mind. Does that make sense? And men are much more likely to not accept it, even when they are the depressed one. For example, you rarely see any men on this board.
I am glad that you are starting on meds, hopefully they will kick in soon and you will feel better. Are you gonna be on any meds for the Attention Deficit Disorder?? My nephew has ADHD. It doesn't seem to be an easy affliction to have.
Take care
Pamela
Personally I think your DH needs a kick in the behind. I am moody at times, and my DH manages to be supportive. (I doubt anything you do is worse than me crying for ten hours straight.) I wouldn't be so worried about being bipolar. IT is very treatable. (I am not bipolar rather major depressive but I have known people who are bipolar that function quite well.)
Just remember you need to take care of yourself first. Don't worry about outside opinions.
Good luck
Selena
Hi Daisy and to the cl's of the board, sorry i couldn't take my hat off!!!
Hi, Quietdaisy!