almost never go out

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
almost never go out
5
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 5:08am
My mother passed away in 1996 and my father passed away in 1999. My life was hurried and stressful--I didn't really have time to mourn the deaths of my parents. I closed down my business in 2001. It was so stressful and the rewards were minimal. I felt used and abused by people who always made extreme demands on my time, expected me to work miracles, and made false promises to pay for my services.

I took another job for a few months but quit due to an injury. I've been "home" now for 20 months.

My husband loves me--he takes wonderful care of me and provides for all our needs (he even does the grocery shopping). He does sometimes crack jokes about my couch tater life. Other times, he expresses concern that I have just given up on life. My husband is so good to me, but I can't expect him to be understanding, loving, and supportive forever. Part of me thinks that he enables me to stay home like a lump on the couch because he so willingly and lovingly takes care of everything. So, I don't have to do anything. LUCKY FOR ME that he loves me so much!

I've only left the house a couple of times in the last three months. My friends have stopped calling and knocking on my door because I don't answer. I wear my pajamas all day long.

I know I'm depressed; I know I have valid reasons for my depression; but I can't seem to shake it. I refuse to go to a psychologist. I would have to get dressed and leave the house for that! LOL I absolutely refuse to take any medication.

I know there are things I could start doing to try and get better; but I can't make myself do them. Am I doomed to stay in my house for the rest of my life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:07am

Welcome to our board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 3:44am
Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I am 46 years old--too young to die--too old to start over. Struggle, struggle, struggle. I don't have any struggles in my homebound life other than with my overwhelming feelings of worthlessness. LOL

I will try very hard to accomplish something every day--even if it's just getting dressed and taking a walk in my backyard or doing the dishes. Thank you again for responding. Everything you said was helpful. I know I want to make some progress so I can start feeling better about life--so I can get some energy back into my body and spirit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 7:06am

((((((((((((((((((((((((((isolationist))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Another idea for you is to give yourself gold stars for each little thing you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 7:59am
I have two beautiful female cats--a calico (9 years old) and a tabby (8 years old). I love them dearly. My tabby got me out of the house in a big hurry a few months ago because she was sick. Even if I won't leave the house to take myself to the doctor--my baby was sick and needed to go to the vet. She had a urinary tract infection. My DH was giving her "people" food and it messed up her ph balance.

My DH used to prepare a plate just for her and she wouldn't stop meowing until she got it! It breaks our hearts when we're in the kitchen cooking our supper and dishing up our plates and my tabby meows and cries for her plate--the one she doesn't get anymore. Now, that's "tough love." It's tough on us! It's tough not to give her what she wants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 11:32am

Welcome to our board, ((((((Isolationist))))))!

AcornLeaves