Married Ladies et all

Avatar for sarbri03baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Married Ladies et all
5
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:29pm
I have a question.....I obviously have some mental illness...PTSD (rape), depression, anxiety etc. But I havent been really diagnosed fully yet...still in therapy...

so here is my ?

I am a happily married woman with a 1 year old son. I love my husband and I couldnt imajine life without him. He is perfect in most ways and a great dad. I really do love him so much BUT....I find myself wanting to cheat on him. Fo rinstance, right now, there is this guy I met a few weeks ago (I have class with him) and I am REALLY attracted to him. He isnt the best looking guybut he is funny and polite and cute etc. I just really get along with him well. HE knows I am married etc. I flirt with him alot and I knwo it and he flirts back too. I even went out with him for a few drinks last week and it was really nothing, just drinks then I went home. But, now I feel almost obsessed with him. LIke I cant wait to see him again and I dont knwo if I would really even actually have sex with him or anything. I just feel horrible. There is no rason for me to even cheat on my husband, I love him and I love our son and I wouldnt want to destroy that but, it is like I cant stop myself!

Sometimes I htink I may be bi-polar and maybe this is some sort of symptom....I dont know...does anyone??

Sara

Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:45pm
Well, I'm married with 3 young daughters and I have to say that I don't really think about cheating. In my opinion, when you think about cheating and seriously consider it, there is something wrong in your relationship. Please do yourself and your DH a favor and really think about it. If you want to do it, give yourself and your DH the consideration of getting out of your relationship first. Then you can act on your desires. It's not fair to the other person.

Just my opinion...........

Hugs Ilka



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Registered: 10-31-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 5:16pm
I don't know that your marriage can be happy as you say you are happily married. I would check out other options. I've never heard of anyone wanting to commit adultery because of bipolar disorder, but I'm not really an expert.

Please don't cheat on your husband.

Sarah
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anonymous user
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 6:06pm
Hi Sara. I think its important for you to ask yourself some questions. Maybe you love your husband, but maybe the "spark" isnt there any more. I suggest that you think things through carefully, talk to your therapist about it, and try to change what is not right or what is missing in your relationship with your husband. Please dont cheat on him. I dont think it is a symptom of bi-polar, but I could be mistaken. I would definitely talk to a professional about this. Take care and I hope everything works out for you. HUGS
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 6:19pm
I'm sure you meant for this to be directed to the original poster instead of me...LOL.

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 3:55am
Hi Sara:

You might be obsessed with this new person because you envision that he fullfills some unmet emotional needs.

You met him in a class that you're taking. Thus, you have something in common--something to talk about. You went out with him and had a few drinks. This satisfied a need for attention and conversation. You flirt with each other. This satisfies your needs for romance and excitement.

Rather than considering an affair, you ought to be considering your emotional needs and what can be done to satisfy those needs through your marriage. I recommend that you visit the marriage builders website. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/

Take what helps from the website and disregard the rest.

Since you are in therapy, please discuss this with your therapist.

I wish you the best as you try to sort through this new obsession. It could be an eye-opening experience. Maybe as you work through it, you will find new ways to connect with your DH and make your marriage even stronger.

Wishing you happiness!