Does anyone remember? Question for all..

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Does anyone remember? Question for all..
8
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:23pm
Do any of you remember your onset of your depression? Do you remember how it feels to be "normal", as in not depressed??

Do you remember each onset of each depressive episode (if you have had more than one)?

I am curious... I would like to know. And it seems like something that if lots of us share about it, it may help us all.

Was there one event? Were you abused? Were you neglected?

What brought you into this depression?


Thanks for your answers!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 12:26am
I've pretty much suffered from depression my whole life...there are big moments in my life that I know triggered 'episodes', as in times in my life when it has been worse. My parents' divorce, best friends' suicide attempt, things that happened with my dad, finding out my boyfriend is married, etc..Those were like catalysts, if you will..So no, I don't really remember what if feels like to be 'normal'
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 8:47am
I remember how it was before the depression. It's getting harder and harder as this drags on and on---but I do remember.

There was one weekend when two terrible events happened at the same time. I won't bore you all with the story. However---that apparently started the whole depression thing. I hid it for almost a year---but things finally came to a head and I was drug off to a hospital for evaluation.

I don't remember each onset of episodes. In the beginning, I was put on medication and it seemed to help for a while. Then I would start feeling bad again and amother med was tried.

Is this the kid of 'stuff' you wanted to know?

Avatar for legs2001
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 8:58am
Thanks Jenn for your reply. It is funny how the word "normal"...is always in quotes for us. So many folks here can't remember not being "un" depressed. I am lucky, I can remember feeling happy, and not so bloody down and lethargic and pessimistic and....well.... you get the idea.

But it was a long, long time ago. lol

Thanks for contributing.

I hope you are well.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 9:07am
We all do hide it don't we. My mask is slipping as of late. Most people would be completely floored if I told them I was clinically depressed. You sound like you are in that boat, with all the excellent teaching and work you do. People would probably be surprised.

We hide all the time don't we... GREAT words Deb.

Thanks for your insight!

You are the best!

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 10:09am
Do any of you remember your onset of your depression? Do you remember how it feels to be "normal", as in not depressed?? I really son't remember what the onset was I guess a bunch of different things having my dad leave when I was a baby and never paying much mind to us, my mom working all the time and not being near me much, my aunt passing away she raised me since I was a baby and died when I was 20, I was always a little off m whole life but we all chalked it up to it being my personality turned out to be bipolar, dont really remember ever being happy or normal but I am starting to feel that way now.

Do you remember each onset of each depressive episode (if you have had more than one)? the onset was usually something very stressful or very emotionally charged, mostly when I was ignored that is when it was bad for me.

I am curious... I would like to know. And it seems like something that if lots of us share about it, it may help us all.

Was there one event? Were you abused? Were you neglected? I cant say if I was neglected because I had an Aunt who helped my mom raise me and she gave me all the love she had inside of her, but I think alot of it came from my childhood the emotions that I bottled up inside and when I was a teenager I just let them all out but the anger I held onto and am learning to let it go it is a slow process but it is going to be worht it in the end.

What brought you into this depression? the feeling of being unwanted unloved not needed ect. I have a huge issue with feeling like I am being ignored that is what usually sets me on a downward spiral that and others emotions my old living situation really set me off I was always sad never smiled ect.. but now that I moved I am feeling a little better each day.

I hope I helped a kittle.

Erin

Thanks for your answers!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 11:00am
I've felt down and hopeless now for almost two years, but I do remember earlier times when I had good stretches.

I can't remember a time when I didn't have problems with depression, although I didn't understand until my 20's that that was what was wrong. My parents divorced when I was five, and my sister was four. It was an ugly divorce, and there was a lot of fighting and bitterness between them for many years afterward. There was always the feeling that each parent wanted me to be on their "side" and against the other parent, so being close to both at the same time was somehow disloyal. I would be close to one for a while, then something would happen and I'd be on their bad side, but then the other parent would embrace me and say how unfair, and what a bad parent the other was...etc.

Then, around the time of their divorce (or within a few years, I was really young at the time), my father developed a severe chronic auto-immune disease. When it first hit, he almost died - and although they were able to stabilize him, there was always the possibility that he could go any time. Over the years he gradually lost his health, became frail and disfigured from the disease.

I think my sister and I learned too young about mortality.

Finally, now I know that depression runs in my family.

My sister went on to develop anorexia and bulimia, and at 34 she still struggles with it.

I became really introverted and depressed, and am still struggling with that.

Avatar for legs2001
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 5:32pm
(((Erin))) Thanks so much for the answer. I think you add to what everyone has been saying: "it is one thing, yet it is many things..."

The answer seems as nebulous as the disease.

Please know, that I feel you are someone who should never be neglected or ignored. You are one terriffic lady! I hope you don't feel unwanted here....I want you here!!!!!

Thanks for taking the time to answer!

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 10:07pm
Thank you for your answer. I think that many people think being depressed as a teen is normal. And then hit their 20's and wake up and realize that they have been depressed for a long while.

I do know that I have been in and out of depression all my life.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post a reply. Long term family issues and illness can be huge!

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)