need advice/support........(very long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
need advice/support........(very long)
2
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 11:29am
I am so confused right now!and I know I will be rambling through this, so please be patient..I have been on Celexa for depression for over 1 yr now and going to a counselor and my life has been absolutely wonderful!! I meet a great guy and thought that things were finally going my way! Now the problem is that my boyfriend is suffering from depression..He was married and (miserable) for 5 yrs (he's 25) and unfortunately for me I started dating him only 3 months after his divorce..We have been together for 1yr......about 6 months ago, he admitted to me that he thought he was depressed..since I have also experienced these feelings, I encouraged him to go to the dr..he did, started taking Lexapro and was doing very well..but...because the meds cost him so much (he doesn't have insurance) he stopped them last few months. I could gradually tell that he was getting back into the same frame of mind he was in before.....fastforward to this weekend...We were supposed to be moving in together, he has been talking about this for months and I was the one that wasn't sure. I guess the reality hit him that this was a major step in our relationship and all of a sudden he wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do..I love him sooo much but I can't handle being hurt over and over b/c he is such a mess!..I told him that he needs to figure out how he feels about me, after 1 yr together I feel like he should know if he loves me and wants a future w/ me!..I have suggested that he talk to my counselor and he agreed to do that to help him get over things that happened in the past that is holding him back from a future w/ me!...Can the depression affect how he feels or thinks he feels about me?..I told him that maybe we should not talk or see each other for a while,so that he can get himself together..but, now I'm not sure I did the right thing..Since he is willing to go to my counselor,should I set him and appointment or should I just leave him alone for now....It is soo hard b/c I am used to talking to him every night and staying w/ him all weekend and last nite was the first nite we haven't talked!..If he is depressed, maybe now isn't a good time for us to take a break!........I am soo confused right now, I want to help him,but I don't want to continue getting hurt myself........
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 12:56pm

Hi, Fiddlinchick2003!

AcornLeaves
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 12:59am
Hi there, BIG HUGS. Are the anti-depressants so expensive that he cant afford them on his own? I strongly suggest that he save up to get them each month since they seemed to work great for him. Perhaps you can lend him money each month to help him pay for them? There must be some way he can get them.

I think depression can definitely cloud the mind. I think it can alter how we feel (obviously) and hence how we think. When I feel really depressed, I dont even depend much on what Im thinking anymore because I get so emotional, upset and confused. I also become very indecisive.

I think an appnt with the counsellor is a great idea. It sounds like you two love each other a lot. 1 year, however doesnt have to mean that you have to know if you are in love or want to have a future..I think most ppl would know but not all. I think its the dep affecting him anyway and not doubts outside of the dep. I would talk to him and continue to support him, talk about a way to get those meds.

All the best :)