making a little progress?
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| Fri, 04-09-2004 - 11:42am |
Well, the teenager thing had a breaktrough last night, I think. As I thought, the younger one has been acting out because of things that have been happening at her mom's house. She had a decent conversation with her dad last night, and has been much nicer around the house. I made an appt for her with her therapist, because she says she has a lot of things she is not willing to talk about with us that she wants to talk about. I don't know how we will pay for it, though. Her mom has gone on a leave from work for the next 5 months, and I don't think we will get child support for that time. Not good, since our situation is one where we need every dime we can get. The teen is smoking, though, and her dad refuses to try the drug test. I suppose he really doesn't want to know. I am really worried about her grades. She went from b's and c's last quarter to f's and incompletes this midterm. I know she struggles with school, but now it seems like she won't even try. And she has been threatening to hurt herself. I am treating it with total respect and reacting as though she is serious, even though I am sure it is just her way of asking for help. I don't want to poo-poo it, though and have her actually do something. I know it sounds selfish, but I am a little angry with her for doing this right now. I am feeling overwhelmed. I am just getting things straight with myself, and trying to go back to work a few more hours a week. Now I have to stay up and hide the knives, etc. Keep watch over her all the time. I almost wish that she would do something so that I could send her to treatment or a hospital, because I just don't feel like I can deal with this. I don't know what to do with her. But my gut tells me all she needs is to know that she is loved unconditionally, and that can't be done if I send her away.
I am still looking for a new job, which I hate. I love the job I have, but it will never pay a living wage. I don't like having to make this choice. I can either do what I love or make enough money to survive, not both.

Hey Sarah,
I am sorry that you have to leave the job that you love in order to make ends meet, it always seems to happen that way doesn't it.
Okay now the daughter thing, I think that it is great that she spoke to your husband and is at least trying to get better and I also think that it is great that she will be talking with a therapist I know for me I tell my therapist things that I cant say to anyone else plus a therapist cant ground you or yell at you or pass judgement on you...
it is a first stp for all of you and all you can do is keep doing what you are doing now be supportive encouraging she will be fine she is still a teenager and I remember what I was like and I myself have come a long way.
The drug thing you cant force the hubby to do it but at least you put the idea in his head that this maybe an option that he may want to explore on his time when he is ready who knows maybe she snt on drugs and is acting out as a cry for help.
What is her relationship like with her mother? is she volitile? or a good mom?
the reason I ask is because I never had a good relationship with my mom and I didnt know my dad so that caused for alot of bad things in my life growing up.
Is your daughter threatening to kill herself? or cut herself ? neither one is good but I feel taht and this is my opinion so please dont get upset but when people verbalize what they are going to do to themselves committing suicide self harm ect..they usually are calling out a threat not an action they will take it is a cry like you said when I planned on killing myself I never said a word about it to anyone my sister just happened in on me and say what I had written out I used to cut I never announced it never spoke of it no one knew about it if they knew they would have tried to stop me and I didnt want to be stopped...now I want to live I do not cut nor do I ever want to cut again...
I think that it is good that you are trying to remove any harm form her I think that it is great but try to not crowd her still give her space let her know that you are there should she want to talk to you let her know that ou love her and will not judge her or yell or ground her that she can trut you to talk with openly after all she will want to open up with out worring if she will get in trouble for what she is trusting you with.
I hope that I have been of some help .
I wish you the best of luck in everything.
Erin