Got any pointers?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Got any pointers?
1
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 10:04am
I have this situation that I just don't know what to do about. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

Here it is: I am the kind of person that gets snippy when I feel boxed in, threatened, or attacked in any way. My hubby is the type of person who pouts and gives the silent treatment whenever he doesn't like something. Hubby has a tendency to talk to me like I don't know what I am talking about. He doesn't mean anything by it, but I hate it. He will question my judgement, tell me that my way is not the right way, etc. I, then, get angry and snap at him. Of course, he hates it when I snap (thinks it's very disrespectful), and so then he pouts and will not talk to me for a while. He puts me on this guilt trip for treating him poorly by being snippy. I know I should not be so nasty, and that I should learn new ways of letting him know that I feel upset by the way he talks to me.

That is problem 1. I just can't seem to catch myself before I snap. Afterwards I feel bad that I was mean, but I don't know how to catch it before it comes out. Any pointers are appreciated.

Problem 2: How do I get the hubby to realize that he talks to me this way and it does hurt me (he thinks I am being too oversensitive), and hopefully get him to change the behavior?

Problem 3: I feel like it is unfair that I am not supposed to get upset when I feel he is being rude or mean to me, but if I do something he doesn't like he feels justified in making me feel horrible for it. How do I deal with that?

If anyone has been through this kind of thing or has any pointers, please let me know. I am so frustrated by the whole thing that I am ready to scream!!!


Edited 4/10/2004 1:31 pm ET ET by sara722

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: sara722
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 2:19pm

Hi, Sara!

AcornLeaves