well i did it! but so scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
well i did it! but so scared
1
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 6:26pm
well i sent my ex an email telling him that we should stop hanging out together, so he can focus 100% on settling things with his wife to see if it'll workk or not. i'm scared that he will just blow me off and i will never hear from him again and that he will forget about me.

he wont tell me his feelings towards me anymore or even if he had any. and lately he has been really short with me barely talking to me and pretty much ignoring me at work and all.

i am also scared that he is just going back to her no matter what. in the 2 weeks that they have been "trying" they have had atleast 2 heated arguments. one was the first night he went down to see her. to me and other's we see that it wont work, that after the "honeymoon" period she will go back to the way she was. my counsler even told me that she doesnt think i have heard the last of him that sometime down the road he will come back, and i have no idea what i will do if he asks me back, i do still have feelings for him and want to be with him but part of me thinks that he doesnt like me anymore because of all the emails i sent him asking what he felt and what he wanted and alway wanting to talk to him. i wish there was somthing i could do to make up for that.

course now i am angry at him and hate myself for not seeing the signs earlier, teh signs of him wanting to go back and try again and teh fact that he never told me really how he felt or anything about wanting to make ME happy and really wanting to be with me,etc. tho he reminded me several times about how he was have done this for the girl he dated before me. that and he seemed almost ashamed to be with me cause he never told anyone outside of his internet friends.

oh well maybe this anger is better, maybe i will get over him easier but i just cant help feeling that i ruined things for us.

sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 9:13am

Hi Sarah!


I know its really hard but you should be proud of yourself for being honest with your Ex.. If you are destined to have any sort of relationship with him, if its not one built on openess and truth then it will never work anyway.

*hugs