Depression, I have it.........

Avatar for hopelessromantic82
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Depression, I have it.........
2
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 4:46pm
I didn't even realize that that's what's been wrong with me. But for the past, I don't know, couple of months, I've been unhappy. Let me give you a little bit of background information: I'm 22 yrs. old and I don't have a driver's license. It's a long story, but to give you the gist, I got into an accident back in high school and had to pay a fine to get my driving privileges back, but for the past five years or so we were fighting through red tape and had to go to court to determine who was responsible for paying for the damages done to the other person's car. It was just one long headache after another until finally last year we had it settled in court. I never got my license because for those years I wasn't even sure I could drive again. So, I depend on others for now to get around. I've worked several jobs off and on since high school, but recently hadn't had a real job. I was babysitting for a friend who lived in the same apartment complex on daily basis. So, everyday Mon.-Fri. I would watch her one year old from 7:30-1:00 and then come home and do laundry or clean. Ever since I was little, I dreamed of being an elementary school teacher, but I'm not in college either. I have been trying to get into a community college, but financially wise haven't had the funds to do it.

I guess I just feel like I haven't done any of the things I set out to do when I was younger, also my relationship with my family has changed. I used to be close to my mom an now we barely talk even though we live 5 min. away from each other. I'm just looking for some support and help in dealing with my depression. I cry just about all the time and I don't want to be so unhappy about things. I feel lonely because I don't have any female friends to whom I can rely on to be there for me. All my life, I've had "fairweather friendships" in which when things were good they were there, but if I ever had any problems and needed a shoulder...they were nowhere to be found even though I would bend over backwards to help or support them. I've known women who I'd become friends with only to use me....so I'm very hesitant these days about trusting people. My husband, Dan has been very supportive and we're looking for a dr. so that I can get some help. He's been there for me in ways that my family have never even tried. I love him very much and have dreams for us, for our future and I just want to be not just be able to accomplish them, but enjoy them also.

I'm hoping that by joining your group that I will be able to get some help and maybe even offer some support to women who are experiencing the same thing I am.

thanks for listening,

Ashley

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:08pm

Welcome to the board Ashley,


It sounds like you have been through quite a few ups and downs with your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:43pm
Ashley...

Welcome to the board! There are so many really great ppl here, so I am sure you will feel welcome. It's always so hard when you feel bad. I am glad to hear that you are looking for outside help, and it sounds like your husband is very supportive, and that makes a HUGE difference. I see that you are on a lot of other boards, and I think it is good that you are at least communicating with ppl outside the apt. but it sounds like you don't get out of the apt complex much. Is there anyway you could go for a daily walk or something just to get you out of the house? I know I get really down when I don't get out of the house enough.

I hope things start looking up soon!

hugs

Sara