Just venting...
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-12-2004 - 10:33pm |
I'm on Lexapro and soon going to start a half-dose of Wellbutrin as well, since the Lexapro is making me sleepy and gain weight, and I have two little girls to raise.
My older brother died about five years ago. My dad earned then lost a lot of money in the stock market and had to sell the home he and mom raised us in, which was very depressing to my mom (and sad for me and my younger brother too), and had to move himself and mom into a condo. My mom has diabetes and had quintuple-bypass surgery last year and is often weak and tired now, sometimes so much that I get scared we may lose her. I have some sort of allergy or reaction to dust mites which makes daily life very difficult, especially since we have a dog and kids (who, of course, want to play with me on the floor, which no matter how often I vacuum, of course still does have some dust) and a lot of laundry. Sleeping is also difficult, since even with allergenic bedcovers there is still some dust. I also have some sort of hip pain problem - possibly osteoarthritis brought on by years of distance running and biking - and there are no gyms with pools nearby, so for the last few years I have been very limited in what sorts of exercises I can do, which makes me even more depressed... I pretty much lift small weights and do sit-ups; no aerobics for me. It's hard to eat well when I've got the kids - since they won't eat salads, I basically have to make one meal for them (such as grilled cheese or pb&j or spaghetti) and a veggie meal for myself. And resist eating some of their snacks, such as crackers and cheese. It's a pain.
Until recently I was doing okay, although depressed due to my very challenging older child, the dust mite issue, etc. -- but on medication (Wellbutrin, then now Lexapro) and almost dealing. Then about a week ago my husband - granted, he'd only had 2 hrs of good sleep since he'd been up comforting our teething baby - but we were arguing and he told me I was overweight! ARrrrgh, that made me even more depressed, even more so because I have a history of weight issues, although most of that was before I met him. When I met him I was most of the way through a 35-pound weight loss that brought me down to a very nice weight (5'4" and 120 pounds). Five years and two kids later, I weighed 130 pounds when he said this. Not bad! I was so mad and am now even more depressed and back to scrutinizing myself in every mirror, and have gained 3 pounds in two weeks - possibly from the switch to Lexapro, but possibly due to my reaction to his comment. I am still mad and upset. I do hope the switch back to a half-dose of Wellbutrin, which I will start later this week, may help stabilize my weight.
And my brother's death was on April 4, and every year at this time we tend to think about him more, which is hard. My poor sister-and-law, who is a saint, got us together for a dinner this year, and although we didn't discuss my brother (since my children were with us, they took our minds off him), I was so very depressed afterwards and also yesterday at Easter services.
I'm glad to find this board and take a load off.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Sincerely,
Julia

You sound like you are at an ideal weight for your height. Try to stay positive and concentrate on your girls and loving your parents and sister-in-law. They sound like they need it right now and your contributions to helping them will make you feel good about yourself. Best of luck!!! Terri
Hi, Julia!