my good mood is out the window

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
my good mood is out the window
5
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 9:45am



My good mood is gone.........................

I feel so sad so hopeless so agrivated...

I got a letter from the state of Connecticut stating that I owe them 892.00 I had to do an ammended return when I did my taxes this year because both me and Jeremy claimed Jakob last year so I told Jeremy I would amend my return so he didnt have to I was told that I would only owe 611.00 so you can imagine my shock and upset when I get this letter stating that interest has begun and that I owe almost 900.00 dollars I do not have 900.00 dollars my health insurance co-pay went up to 20.00 a visit so now I pay 80.00 a month to see my therapist plus the other 20.00 to see my shrink. I need to have a root canal done I have had it started already but now I owe my dentist when it is all done over a thousand dollars I have to pay my mom rent I have to pay child support I have to pay my bills and I have no money to do so...

I know that it is only money but it just stresses me out so much I am on the verge of tears I do not know what to do I dont know if I should talk to my mom and ask her if I could just pay her what I can for now and then once things get settled give her the full 300.00 that she is asking of me I am sure that she would be okay with that but I do not want to put her in a bad spot..

I jut hate feeling this way my stomach is swirling my heart is pounding I cant think straight it is times like this I want to resort to my old copping mechanisms .

Okay I think I need to end this thans for letting me rant .

Love to you all.

Erin

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:51am
Hi Erin. I think talking to your mom is a good idea. I suggest you prioritize your money and make a budget. Allow yourself a small amount of money to spend on yourself, even $5.00 a week. If you budget and stick to it, you will eventually pay off your debts. Do you spend any money unnecessarily? There are many costs we can cut that we may not think about, such as cable and gym memberships, etc. If you know anyone who can help you make a budget, then please do that a.s.a.p. I would pay off the debts with the biggest interest befroe anything else. Good luck and take care HUGS

I hope you feel better soon. Try to take one thing at a time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:53am
{{{{{Erin}}}}}

Hey sweetie!!

I am not sure how the US gov't works, but here in Canada you can arrange to pay them back in installments. You should definately look into that.

Money can be so stressful. It is so hard to make ends meet these days. Especially being single, I find anyway. I stuggle alot, too.

Take care hun

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 1:27pm
Erin,

What an awful situation to be in! I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Is it possible for you to ask your ex if you can give him less in the child support this month while you settle your taxes and root canal. Considering that you both claimed your son on your taxes and you were kind enough to relent, it seems like he could be understanding of the situation this month.

I know how overwhelming money stress is to deal with. I know that feeling of being in survival and having consuming anxiety.

It's good that you recognize that you want to turn to your old coping mechanisms. It's a very important time to build new coping skills. Anxiety will happen. It's important to learn healthier ways to cope with it. It helps me to go for a run when I'm anxious. I put all my emotions into every step. Writing down the stressors and how I'm going to deal with them also helps me get a handle on the situation.

It seems like some of your old coping mechanisms were about regaining a sense of control over your life. So maybe the most helpful thing for you to do is to take the steps that give you a real sense of control. Since you said your mom will probably understand, you can start by asking her to put off your rent payment. You can call your ex and explain the situation to him, so that maybe you can put off all or at least some of your child support payment this month. Finally, your dentist is probably used to financing expensive procedures. You can call the office, explain the you owe more taxes than you anticipated, and ask if you can pay in installments. Dentists are used to getting payments in this way, since many people do not have dental insurance.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this stress right now. I'm going to have to write a $2500 tax check this week myself, so I know the feeling. I'm worried about what it will do to my financials for the next few months. Taxes are rotten! I can't believe that they had the nerve to charge you so much for interest. Is it possible to call the state tax board and negotiate the interest, given your financial state and the question of who had the right to claim your son? You would be amazed at how many things are negotiable. My dh negotiates so many things to a lower figure. It's incredible. It's worth a shot!

On the good side, at least you aren't spending the money on diet pills anymore. And as you cut down on cigarettes, you'll save a lot on those. The taxes on cigarettes are so high that it makes it an expensive habit.

I'm sending you prayers and good thoughts, Sweetie. Remember that you were able to create more happiness and a sense of control over your life. We all have financial crises at different times. You will get through this.

All My Love,

MariaC

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 1:47pm
put that good mood back in the window! you know what, i have been big time stressed lately about money, and when i just read your post i was going to give you advice that i will now take for myself too. life is too short to let money worries get in the way. there are so many better adn more importnat things to focus on and worry about. i'll try with you to not let it get to us. i had the same problem with my dad filing me as a dependant and me filing myself- my boyfriend is a tax lawyer and said that it would be better for me to file it b/c i would owe less and for my dad to give me the money. so i said i would and my dad laughed at me and won't give me a penny. so i haven't sent it in yet- i think you have awhile. i think you can tell the government that you can't pay it all right now and pay in installments or somehting. i'm sorry that stuff is happening. know that you aren't alone. i'm sure your mom would let you not pay rent or even help you out if you asked. can she do that? i know it is hard to take the money (or ask for it) but my mom has had to help me a few times over the years and it has kept me on my feet and let me avoid paying interest. but either way, it will work out. don't worry, i will win the lottery for both of us and we can pay off everything and live in a big mansion, ok? :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 1:55pm

ITA with the notion of negotation!!

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