New poster - feeling very down

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
New poster - feeling very down
2
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 8:11pm
This is my first visit to this board - I appreciate the chance to interact.

Lately I'm being overwhelmed with feelings that I have trouble coping with. My major problem is money - everything seems to stem from that. I just can't seem to get ahead, and I'm just getting in deeper and deeper. I need to earn more than I am, but there just is no way in the full time job that I'm in. I'm looking now for something additional, part time in the evenings.

I have trouble making the mortgage payments many months, and routinely get late notices before I'm able to pay it. A few months ago I even got the dreaded "you must pay by certified check $X before this date to avoid foreclosure procedures." I only bought this house last year when my husband and I split up. He was having an affair, and when I confronted him about it, he decided he wanted to be with her, and I basically got the boot. Divorce was final July of 2003, but he started begging me to come back long before that. I just can't do it. I was so much better off financially with him, but I can't stand to be around him now. I feel like the only thing that will get me out of this hole is winning the lottery or having a rich relative die and leave me money - and I don't have any rich relatives.

I am so behind in all the bills, and don't know where my May and June mortgage payments are going to come from, and when. I can't lose the house - my daughter and I literally have no place else to go. As overwhelming as my mortgage is, rent would be even higher.

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and feeling "what's it all for, we're all going to die anyway." We, as humans, are so insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe and time that I feel like my life matters as much in the end as a fruit fly's. Sometimes I feel that the only reason I keep on keeping on is for my daughter, who is 20.

Sorry for the long post and venting. I just don't know what to do any more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:56pm

Hi and welcome!


Im glad you found us!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 12:40pm
Hi dusty!!

You say that your daughter is 20, does she live with you? Is she able to help you out with the bills? I lived withe my mom from 19 - 22 and I paid half the rent, and half the grocery bill. I just thought that since I was an adult, I had to chip in my fair share.

I agree with Caly, there are places out there that can help, you just have to find them! I am from Canada, so I can't even point you in the right direction.

Take care, keep posting. Someone is always here to offer support.

Pamela

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