Thank you for the kind replys....M
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| Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:58am |
I wanted to thank you for all of your replys. Isn't it amazing how a few nice words from people you have never *met* can really make you feel like you are not so alone?
Today, has started off rough but I am hoping that things get better from here. My ex and the the love of my life is who I am staying with until I get the final word on going back to work and what the status of my liver function may be. We have a long history together and have been seperated since Sept of 2003. He is dating someone 15 years older than him and I am tripping out over it. I was fine with it until I moved back in after getting out of the hospital. I don't know if he is playing with my head or what. I can't trust my own feelings anymore and the truth is something that always seems just beyond my grasp. He told me he dosnt love her and he still loves me but he keeps bringing this woman up to me and I can't seem to address it without getting my blood pressure up and wanting to go psycho. I finally told him last night after he mentioned her that I had had enough of it and that if he wanted to be with her then that's where he belongs. I can not share this man. I will not share this man. I made another huge mistake by getting involved with him again and opening myself up to all the hurt this is going to cause me. I love him with all my heart and he was there for me when they gave me 2 days to live - my own family couldn't have cared less.
I am planning on telling him tonight that I can't continue to do this. I have to draw a line in the sand and protect myself. If he wants to be with her then he has no chance of being with me. I don't want to push him away by giving him ultimatiums but I can't handle this emotionally right now. I can move forward without him but having only a part of him is too much to ask of a crazy girl right now. If I'm lucky he wont throw me out on the street.
Thanks again.
Love and Hugs,
Christy

Oh, ((((((Christy)))))), what a courageous woman you are!