Feeling Overwhelmed

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Feeling Overwhelmed
4
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:57am
I feel like I'm falling apart today. Nothing seems to be going right, and I know that's probably just my perception. I need support, if anyone is willing to give it. I hesitate to post things like this, because you never know the type of response you're gonna get, people can be quite rude at times, and all that does is upset me more. But here goes...anyways...thanks to those who do reply, whatever the outcome may be.

I'm very sad today. I feel unloved. I live in a home situation where my father is dead (so no chance of feeling his affection anymore), my mom is distant, and my stepdad once a pervert, now refuses to speak to me because I told my mother how he used to touch me. My friends are all busy living their important lives, and I'm beginning to suspect that a guy that acted like he liked me is just trying to run away from me as fast as he can. He's moving on monday, and didn't even tell me. I knew that he was moving, but I didn't know so soon until this past weekend. Why do things like this happen to me?

Yesterday was my daddy's birthday. I miss him a lot. Sometimes I feel like he is the only man who will ever love me for me. Men nowadays complain so much about women being "balls and chains", I'm afraid to tell them how much I need to be loved. I would give so much in return, if only I could be accepted for who I am. But it seems that the guys I've come across only want sex, and they lose interest once they get it. Or they want a model. I am pretty, I believe that, but I'm not a model, nor do I want to be. I like my uniqueness. I just wish that other men could see that...

Sometimes I just get to feeling so depressed. I put myself in therapy when I was 14. Life situations required that. It's been a long, hard road, and sometimes I find myself getting tired of it all. But you just keep going, I guess....

*sigh* Onto the guy I'm supposed to be seeing...we met a little over 2 months ago at a single's event. Everything seemed perfect in the beginning, and I thought finally, here is a good guy who will treat me right! But now, he's really distant. I'm not trying to speculate why, but he won't answer the phone anymore (have I called and annoyed him too much, I tried not to), I can't believe he's leaving so soon and didn't tell me, and I have a feeling that he will up and leave and not even say good bye. And after he seemed to like me....why? I don't get it. And now I feel down and lonely again.

I just wish that for once, I could have some happiness. Some stability. I'm trying to move out of state to get away from my abusive family, I'm going to do a kind of "test run" for a family in GA who needs a nanny. I'm excited. I hope it works. Maybe my being down there will change a lot of things...I dunno....

Ok, let me stop complaining.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:20am



I swear that I wrote the post that you just did.....

It was not too long ago that I felt just as you do and at times I still feel that way..

I can relate to how hard it is to find someone who will want you for who you are to accept everything about you all the things that make you who you are but there is someone out there just waiting for you wondering where YOU are try to be patient it will happen..

as for your living situation well I just moved back home with my mom I was sharing a house with my sister and my roommate Luis who turned out to be a huge jerk and made me feel so bad to the point that my therapy wasnt working for me because I was so down and living with them made me worse..it hindered not helped me to get better but I moved about 3 weeks ago and I feel better my mood is good and I feel pretty stable the downside is that my sister and I havent talked in over a month but I hope that when she is ready she will call me or something like that.

The thing is sometimes you need to move away from a situation in order to get better sometimes the living situation can be a huge factor in how you feel and from my own experiance I feel so much better than I have in over a year it has been three weeks since I moved but it made such a huge difference for me.

I think that with this guy try to not worry about it if he doesnt want you for who you are then he isnt worth one tear one ounce of worry because the one who is worth your tears and worry will be the one that doesnt makeyou cry or feel bad about you he will be the one that makes you feel great about being yourself so at least try as hard as it is to just move away from this guy.

the nanny job you spoke of maybe that is just what you need maybe that will help you start to feel better.

I hope the trip to Georgia will help you good luck with that.

Also this place is great the women are awesome loving caring people you will get all the support that you need here.

I hope that I was of some help to you.

Good luck.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:50am

Hello, Baby_schmupie!

AcornLeaves
Avatar for baby_schmupie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:57am
Thank you Barbara and Erin for your support. I used to check in every now and again, I want to do so more often. I'm kinda stressed right now, phones ringing off the hook, making me frazzled. I can't wait to get home.

Places like these are a Godsend, honestly. It's so nice to have people who understand.

Erin, you are right about the guy. I just hate opening my heart again and again, and finding out that "this isn't it". I'm growing weary, ya know?


I hope that I can be as much of a help to people here as they are to me. :)

Samantha

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 1:29pm
Welcome,

I'm new to this board but not to iVillage and have found this to be a wonderful place to express yourself and people will respond without judgement only with caring and concern.

I just wanted to say hello and welcome you. You are not alone in alot of your feelings.

Lots and lots of (((((((hugs))))))) ~~Liv