Question for all: emotional readiness
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| Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:31pm |
My reason for asking is this: when I posted about my family situation on another board, I mentioned my plan to go to med school...and someone there asked me whether I am emotionally ready to handle that kind of intense stress. I honestly don't think that I am, but I also doubt that I will ever truly be ready.
I have been severely depressed for most of the last six or so years, and while I hope that will change, it doesn't seem incredibly likely. Therapy has helped me to deal with difficult situations better, but it hasn't erased my self-destructive thoughts and general depressive feelings. So I could wait until I feel ready to begin med school, but I might be waiting forever...and in the meantime, I might be even unhappier because I wouldn't be pursuing that goal.
Still, I don't want to start a new part of my life in such a low mood and with such little enthusiasm...my parents now are practically pushing me just to go out and look for an apartment in my new city. And I don't want my depression to become even more severe under the stress of med school, which I think is a strong possibility (I recently said to my therapist that for me, self-destruction would likely be preferable to failing out of med school), and I definitely don't want my feelings to affect the care I give any future patients.
So I would just like to know if, and how, any of you have dealt with similar situations. One option (I guess the one I am likely to take) is to go into med school with the idea that I will give it my best shot...and just see how it goes...but I'm not sure if I am just setting myself up for failure.
Thanks for reading (I know, I am completely incapable of writing short posts!),
Rose
Edit: P.S. I also apologize for always posting about this same issue of mine, but I guess it's always at the top of my worry list! :)
Edited 4/20/2004 11:34 pm ET ET by rosa444

We all have recurring issues that are at the top of our worry list, so don't feel bad. I'm also more of a requestor of help than a help giver, some are, don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure that your kind presence here on the boards is felt.
"Emotional Readiness" is kind of a sticky thing. I too have suffered from depression, abotu 17 years now, or pretty much as far back as I can remember. I started feeling this way as a child, but couldn't really process what I was going thru. Anyways... Being emotionally ready to me, is a paradox. You are never "ready" fully for any negative thing that hits you. You may be prepared, you may expect it, but being ready to me implies that you won't be affected by the pain. My advice to you is to follow your heart. I know it may be saying a lot to you right now, but what is the loudest voice?
I too have struggled with the "emotional readiness" of making big decisions. I've decided to move out of state, seek another job. This is the biggest leap I've ever made in my life, and I'm sure some would say that because of my depression, I'm not emotionally ready to do this. Whatever. I feel in my heart that this move will mean the difference between life and death for me. I look forward to it, and at the same time I'm scared. But that's my life.
For us, those who suffer with mental illness, waiting until we're emotionally ready can take a long time. Its best not to sit and do nothing. At the same time, it's also prudent not to take on more than we can handle. Is part-time med school an option? Perhaps you might want to start out slow. Is there a therapy outlet for you where you're going?
My thoughts are that you should try to make as comfy a nest for yourself as possible before moving out there, we need all the support we can get. Go when you feel most comfortable, and not one minute before. You'll do fine...no matter what you do.
Samantha
Emotional readiness is a very difficult thing..even for people who do not have depression.
I think you really need to think about what you really love..is this something that you love and dreamed about ..who's to say that making this decision wouldn't help to make you happier regardless of the stress.
I would follow your gut instict..do what your inner voice is telling you to do..not what others are telling you that you can or can not handle..does that make sense?
Personally I have a tendacy to (once I've finally gotten up and going) jump in head first without thinking..lol..sometimes it's worked for me and others not..but that really is just the type of person I am.
Whatever you decide I wish the best for you..and although there is a great amount of stress there are also so many rewards..(I used to work at Children's Hospital..it was rough..but it was also wonderful)
~~Liv
Hi Rose!!
I think in alot of ways we can never truly be "ready" for anything.... Life has a way of happening while we are planning something else as the saying goes..
As you said all you can do it give it your best shot and if you know you gave it your all then you can handle what ever comes of it..
*hugs