I feel hideous today (triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
I feel hideous today (triggers)
6
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 7:12pm
I feel horrible today, and I can’t see my therapist until next week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 9:36pm

I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling, Ladyirish.

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 9:31am
Oh honey,

I can relate to how you are feeling, When I was taking my lamictal I broke out in such a horrible rash they were huge I mean HUGE bumps on my neck that would puss and I did not want to leave my bedroom, I felt like the most horribly ugly person in the world, I went to my doctor and he gaveme this mediction that helped a little but in the end it turned out to be the lamictal that was causing the rash so my pdoc took me off of it and it went away with out the use of the medication my doctor gave to me ..so maybe it is something that you are taking or have eaten just a thought...

Look you are not ugly or anything like that I know what it is like to think you are the worst person in the world that no one wants to be with you I go through that each day of my life constantly thinking there is something wrong with me so I can kinda understand where you are at right now although both our situations are different...But you gotta try to think that these men are not good enough for you and saying I love you is not the worst thing you could say to someone yes it is the scariest thing you can say but not the worst love is such a poweful word just like hate is a powerful word...I can understand you having a thing for a man at work who is gay there is something about gay men that is so attractive maybe it is because they are not a threat and deep down inside we know they are non threatening and wont break our hearts they are nicer than straight men they have more feeling then straight men plus they are so darmn attractive I have had crushes on gay men that I know but when I thought aboutit I realized why I had the crush they were like my bestfriends and they never hurt me..but that is just my experiance like I said before we each have different sets of circumstances in our lives the issue may be simular but what we feel is so different....

I want you to know that this will not last it will pass these feelings of not liking yourself are temporary ya I dont like what I see almost every morning but I talk myself out of it I know that I will never be what I think I should be but in my heart I know that I am fine just the way I am and so are you...

We are all here for you and I hope that yo start to see the great wonderful kind hearted person that you are..

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:06am

Im soo sorry sweetie,,,


I wish I could help you see that the true beauty in us all comes from the inside.. I have recently had a woman tell me I am beautiful and that was soo hard for me to hear at first..

*hugs             

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:39am
((((ladyirish))))) Today is a bad day, and hopefully tomorrow will be a good day. Keep your head up high. I hear that confidence is what attracts a person. I wish I had that, but my b/f always tells me he wished I had more confidence. We are our own worst critics, so Im sure you dont look nearly as bad as you think. I hope your medication will work soon. Take care and HUGS
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 12:01pm
Hey Lady, I am sorry you are having such a hard time of it. About your infection, Have you seen a doctor? I ask this because most fungal skin infections are not wet and stinky. That's usually bacterial. Is it red and warm? It could also be some sort of dermatitis. There are test the doctor can do to confirm what the problem is. If it is a fungus, there are prescription pills and creams that will work better than otc's.

I also understand about the emotional eating. I weigh almost 300#. I've had many a day that my eating was out of control. I wish I had the magic answer. It would help both of us. Know you are not alone.

I know this is something you aren't going to want to hear, but here it goes. It's hard for someone to love you when you don't love yourself. Before you go looking for someone to love look in the mirror. You are God's special child! He will always love you! These are things I try to tell myself daily. Like you, I have some very bad days. Here's a little exercise to help: Place notes to yourself on the mirror in your bathroom. (Yes my husband thinks this is strange) I read them whenever I go into the bathroom. It's hard to be positive with your self when all you have is negative thoughts, so you make some up. Mine say things like: I am beautiful, I am a good person, I am God's special child, etc.... I don't get much postive feedback from the world so I make my own. Try it. It give you something on board to conteract those negative feelings. I hope today is better for you. Take care, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:33pm
Oh Sweetie, that's rotten!

I'm so sorry.

Have you made an appointment with a dermatologist about your skin condition. If the medication you have isn't working, then you need to get one that will work. It's terrible to feel like that. I've had physical things before that made me so depressed. I got athlete's foot one time, which is a fungus. I was so mortified. I kept my socks on all the time and didn't tell anyone I had it. I've had worse things, which I won't mention because I'm still mortified that they happened. I know what it's like to feel so yucky physically.

I had a major crush on a gay guy for four years in high school. I didn't know he was gay for most of the time, but even after someone told me he was, I still loved him so much. We can't always help who we love, but at least you know the reason he could never be with you has nothing to do with you. It's his sexual orientation. If you were Britney Spears, he still would rather be with a man. It's not personal.

Sometimes the best thing is to go home and cry. Let those feelings out that are bottled up inside. Part of overeating is about stuffing the feelings back down. If you embrace the feelings, you can release them. That means to let yourself really feel them when you are alone. Let them out. It's the healthiest way to go. Cry until you aren't too exhausted to cry any longer.

I'm an emotional eater, too, so I know what you are talking about. I usually start overeating before I even realize that I have negative feelings I'm avoiding. Eating can numb me out for awhile and even leave me tired to sleep and numbed out, stuffed sleep. But eating never makes the feelings go away. It helps me get through the moment, but the feeings are still there when I wake up the next day. The only thing that makes the feelings go away for me is to let them out, then to take my focus off of the negative. That can be really hard to do, so I ask God to give me the strength and insight to get me through the pain. That is the one prayer I say that always works.

I'm sending you thoughts and prayers. Call your doctor so at least you can be rid of the fungus thing! My dh gets a fungus on his face sometimes. You aren't the only one!

All My Best,

MariaC