doing something good for me!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
doing something good for me!!!!
3
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 12:01pm


I went to therapy last night it was a kind of borring session I really didnt have too much to talk about, we hyust discussed how me and my best friend both have these holes inside of us and how we both do two different things to fill the holes temporarily for me it is the constant dieting and working out diet pills crap that I have been doing for god knows how many years probably 10 or more..and how she fills the hole with sleep ing around how we both do not feel accepted unless we are doing these things to ourselves how I feel only good if I am a certain size like I was a size "0" a few months ago now a size "3" but I wont get into that I am just starting to see my pattern and see if there are other things that are good for me that will fill the hole I have inside of me....

I have decided to do something that will make me feel better and I never do this at all but I am going to the hair dresser the one my mom uses so I know I can trust her and I am going to color my hair something totally different than my natural color which is a medium to light brown with a little red in it I want a light brown color with a little blonde in it and I am excited about doing this since it is new to me and it will make me feel better I guess it is my little reward for myself since I have been so good and so stable for 3 whole weeks now world record for me I am only happy maybe 3 days out of a month and I have gone on to 3 weeks, although I think I may be a little manic this week I know my signs talking too much like more than usual for me I talk alot anyways ut when I get manicky I dont shut up and I get alot of energy but still able to fall asleep at night...

But anyways I wanted to share my little insight and my reward for myself with you all..

I also want to thank you all again for being there for me when I needed the good thoughts for my uncle he is such a great man he was a cop he is the person who will walk me down the aisle when I get married he is the best person I ever met and he doesnt deserve to go thru all that he has its like the saying why bad things happen to good people...but anyways thank you all so much again it meant more to me than words could ever descibe..

Love to you all

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 12:12pm

WHHHOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Erin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am so glad you had this wonderful insight.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 12:53pm
Hi Erin. I hope you keep feeling happy always. Tell us about your new hair colour when you get it done. I love colouring my hair, its so exciting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:20pm
Erin,

That's so great that you are doing something different to your hair. I've never colored my hair, but sometimes I think it would be fun to put a streak of blond in the front. What you are planning to do sounds really beautiful. I think it's great that you are so happy and taking such good care of yourself. It's amazing what you can do if you decide to do it.

When we start to take care of ourselves, we may feel like life is kind of "boring." It's just that we are so used to the adrenaline rush and inciting environment of having drama. I think drama is addictive. Weird, huh? I think some of taking care of yourself is filling your life with positive choices and some of it is getting used to being steady and not being on that constant negative roller coaster. It takes getting used to!

I'm saying prayers for your uncle. Hope your week is going well.

Take Care,

Maria