Tough day - Triggers

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
Tough day - Triggers
3
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 9:30pm


So I think I need to vent a bit. I'm just feeling down today. I wasn't able to go to work most of last week due to the side effects from Lexapro and then being taken off LExapro and the withdrawal. I am on my fourth day of effexor, now, and I know it will take a couple weeks to kick in, but I just wish it would start now! This weekend was difficult. The guy I've been seeing for the past few months told me he needs to end stuff because he is not ready to be serious, and while I am happy that it does not seem to be a reflection on me as much as on him, I can't help but wonder why I am not enough for someone yet again. We really had a great time together and I felt there was potential. But I seem to have very bad timing with romance. My job is very busy right now, but I don't take much pleasure in it. I took the job knowing it would not be something for a career, but I knew it would be good for a 9-5 thing while pursuing my master's part time. And then classes are very intense. I know I am probably over-sensitive right now due to the heavy work load on the job and with school, and that the breakup doesn't help, but I just find no matter how hard I work at listing the reasons I have to be grateful and happy, I feel sad and want to crawl in my bed and cry.

Well, just needed to put it out there, and I want to thank you for having this space for venting. It helps to get things out and feel like someone out there understands what I'm feeling and won't roll their eyes or be condescending and just discount me as a "depressed" girl.

Thanks again,

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 10:42pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jen7825))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Sweetie, I can relate to what you were saying about taking a job that is outside your field and not feeling like it was either the right thing to do or how to deal with some of the feelings that come up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 7:03pm
Thank you for your support. I am getting a masters in Education Policy. When I finish I will probably teach for a few years before going into policy work. That's the plan today anyway! :)

I am feeling okay today. Work was still very busy and very difficult, but at least tomorrow is Wednesday which means the end of the week is almost here! It will be tough this week though because I had a group presentation last night and a paper due last night, a paper due tomorrow, and another paper due Friday, plus I work in the Career Services Office at my university and we are hosting a huge career fair next month I am in charge of. It's a lot to take on, and sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it all in the end. I don't even know sometimes if education is the career field I really want to go into? I am happy you have options for another position that you could choose if you'd like to. I hope it all works out the way you would like.

While I feel better than I did last night, I can feel the depression still around me- does that ever happen to anyone? You feel somewhat normal, but you know you are just barely hanging on and that one small thing will trigger a fall back into the sadness? I just need to hold out at least until the weekend so I can get my work this week done!

Thanks again for the thoughts,

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 9:36pm

Congratualions on getting all of your things done this week.