why cant I just stay up for a minute....
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why cant I just stay up for a minute....
| Tue, 04-27-2004 - 2:01pm |
This will be short I promise.....................
I am so sad I am thinking too much repetative thoughts I guess replaying the last week in my head my uncle is better but come to find out that the original doctor never saw the tumor that was removed a few months ago he can not eat can not talk can not fly can not drive can not see too well ect....all this for a tumor that should have been caught a few years ago...he colapsed in Aruba about 2 years ago had an mri done when he got back they saw nothing last week my aunt brings the original x-ray in to the new doctor he puts the x-ray up and immediatly sees the tumor another doctor is called he he sees the tumor on my uncles brain and it was small if it was caught back then he would not be where he is now...so now my sunt is sueing the first doctor for malpractice...
I have other things on my mind I feel so ugly so fat so discouraged so fake so worthless so blah....I dont know anymore I just suck right now my life sucks right now I want to change everything about me I dont want anyone to know me I want a new life....
I am eating a turkey ham and cheese sandwich I ate an apple and banana and now I am getting chinesse noodles I am a pig...my diet pills are not helping WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME my sister and I still arent talking we may never talk again...I dont want to eat anymore but I lost control...I hate it the lack of control is going to kill me...
Erin
I am so sad I am thinking too much repetative thoughts I guess replaying the last week in my head my uncle is better but come to find out that the original doctor never saw the tumor that was removed a few months ago he can not eat can not talk can not fly can not drive can not see too well ect....all this for a tumor that should have been caught a few years ago...he colapsed in Aruba about 2 years ago had an mri done when he got back they saw nothing last week my aunt brings the original x-ray in to the new doctor he puts the x-ray up and immediatly sees the tumor another doctor is called he he sees the tumor on my uncles brain and it was small if it was caught back then he would not be where he is now...so now my sunt is sueing the first doctor for malpractice...
I have other things on my mind I feel so ugly so fat so discouraged so fake so worthless so blah....I dont know anymore I just suck right now my life sucks right now I want to change everything about me I dont want anyone to know me I want a new life....
I am eating a turkey ham and cheese sandwich I ate an apple and banana and now I am getting chinesse noodles I am a pig...my diet pills are not helping WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME my sister and I still arent talking we may never talk again...I dont want to eat anymore but I lost control...I hate it the lack of control is going to kill me...
Erin

((((((((((((((((((((Erin)))))))))))))))))))))
Sweetie, I think you answered your own question in your later post about how you sabatoge yourself.
Please stay positive. Keep positive thoughts. More difficult to do than say, I know! I have those days also!
I know how you feel about your uncle and my prayers are with him. They did the same with my mom for years. Telling her it was all in her mind. Meanwhile, she's had Parkinsons for all these years and maybe if they had just listened she may not have progressed so quickly if she'd been on the meds for it. It just 3 months time she went from just a few shakes and aching to not being able to walk, can hardly feed herself, bathe, do her hair, and forgets alot. It is so frustrating when drs don't really pay attention. They only want the money sometimes. But be thankful your aunt found the right dr to treat him. As we finally found a neurologist to treat my mom. Her seizures have almost stopped.
Hang in there girl! We're here for you!
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse
Honey, I'm sure this is hard for you to remember right now, but you have made a lot of progress since I have known you.