Brother attempted suicide tonight - help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Brother attempted suicide tonight - help
8
Wed, 04-28-2004 - 2:07am

Gosh, what a way to introduce myself to a new board and hopefully I'm in the right place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 04-28-2004 - 7:10am

(((((((((((((Mare)))))))))))))))))


Welcome to the board though I certainly wish we were meeting under better circumstances! Im just grateful your brother was unsuccessful.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 6:40am
Hey Mare,

This may not be of much help, but I knew that it helped when I was in your brother's similar position, and we recently spoke about it at work at a suicide prevention seminar (we deal with clients all over the world).

So many people avoid the subject, pretend that what happened didn't happen.

We are taught that the most important thing is to ask questions.

You may not like the answers, but a lot of the time it helps if they know that we are hear to listen and help, maybe not understand, but to show that we care.

Other than the #1 question of "Are you considerng suicide?", comes the second question(s):

Have you considered it before?

Have you attempted to before?

Did you plan it? How long?

What is happening in your life?

I doubt this helps much, but I know just knowing that people cared enough to listen and ask open-ended questions to get me speaking so they could listen, it just really helped.

Do only what feels comfortable to you. You know your boundaries and your brother's boundaries, so take this in to consideration before you decide what sort of things to ask.

Good luck, and your family is in my prayers.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 1:07pm
Hi Mare. Welcome and Im so sorry. I hope everything will be ok. I dont really know what to do except to be there for his family and keep the lines of communication open. Have someone to talk to yourself, because you are obviously suffering too. Can you go to a therapist or friend to talk to and spill your feelings? Be there for your brother, and be positive with him.

I wish you and your family all the best. Take care HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 1:19pm

Welcome, Maremegan!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:39am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hugs~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I agree with what all the other posters have said and I can only think of one tidbit to add... not directed at you particulary but to everyone. I once worked as an intervention specialist in an environment with an alarmingly high suicide attempt rate. One thing that we were trained to do was use the following terminology: instead of successful/unsuccessful we were told to use completed/uncompleted. The rationale was that successful/unsuccessful portrayed the idea that actually dying was the better result and that to survive meant failure. I know it sounds like p.c. crap but part of the explanation was that you never know what a person's motivation is and if they are already feeling like a failure ie: 'unsuccessful', they may beat on themselves even more for not being able to be 'successful' at even an attempted suicide etc. Plus, you never know who may be contemplating harming themselves and getting rid of the terms that somehow imply judgement may belp it seem like an event/act and less like a 'fix or cure to problems'.

JUST an FYI and sorry to say no direct means of helping you other than sending positive vibes and welcoming you to the board.

32


Edited 4/30/2004 1:14 pm ET ET by workinprogressat32

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 1:49pm

Hi, Maremegan!

AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 11:12pm

Thank you, everyone, for the help and encouragement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 11:52am
You make me remember what families have to go through when suicide happens among them. Sometimes it is easy to justify to ourselves why we are no longer needed on this earth; I try to remember my family, nieces and nephews particularly because they look up to me, regardless of whether I feel I deserve that or not. Many prayers to you and yours, please be strong and post here as often as you like; WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!

HUGS