Newbie seeks relief

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Newbie seeks relief
9
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 4:21am
Tonight I have been searching for support of some kind for this depressed state. I feel relieved to have found somewhere to at least vent. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and have been on and off meds since. Whenever I feel better I stop taking them. I haven't taken any in almost 10 months and was feeling pretty good. Well it hit again this week and hard. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's oh who knows...All I know is I can't go to bed at night or wake in the morning, I am yelling at my poor kids for no reason, feel like telling half the people I know to go take a flying leap and keep thinking of new ways to kill myself. No, I don't actually think I would. I've been down this road before and do consiously realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it seems far away. So far this week my dad asked to borrow $30,000, like I have that much money! This organization I belong to has a micro managing president and I am the secretary. Every time I turn around it is something else with her. My 2 year old is whining a lot, my 5 year old is a genius who needs more challenges than the public school can offer so now we will have tuition bills. People I kind of know aren't talking to me and now I am becoming paranoid about what is being said behind my back. My husband wants to move 2000 miles away from my parents and all he can say to me is did you take your medication. I am fat and overeating big time right now and feeling really rotten. Thanks for letting me vent, maybe now I won't cry myself to sleep.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 7:04am
Hello and welcome Erin!

You sure seem to have a lot on the ball to deal with now so I'm not surprised you seem overwhelmed. Maybe it's time to try meds again to get you to the point where you can see that light at the end of the tunnel? I personally am not a fan of meds simply because every one I've tried has had such a negative effect on me. Have you ever considered counciling to help talk through this difficult time? The reason I'm asking is because it is the only recourse for me and it has helped a bit. One thing I've learned is that people ignore the symptoms of depression and I believe getting treatment right away is very important. Please, you owe it to yourself to try something to get you back on track.

I wish you well,

Tam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 7:07am

Erin! Welcome!


Im sooo glad you found us and I hope this board can help because you are SOOO not alone !


We all battle so many of these feelings everyday and I know how overwhelming they can be.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:13am
Boy did you hit the nail on the head! I thought I was the only person in the world feeling those things! Thank God I'm not alone! I yell at more daughter alot here lately for no reason at all. After I just want to smack myself. Why do I do that? Like you, I'm always afraid what people are thinking or saying behind my back when it seems like they aren't talking to me. I just did that the other night. Still wondering what's up with this one person. I'm not overweight, but I've been eating like a pig and will turn into one if I don't quit, but I just cannot seem to stop! Got a lot going on with my parents and sister and money as well. Some days ..................!

Chris


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Mom to furangel, Chelse
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:48am
Hi Erin

I am in a terrible place myself right now. But I wanted you to know that I read your post.

I think it is important that you continue to take your meds. Stopping meds can be dangerous. I am actually going through a meds switch right now from Paxil to Wellbutrin. Not a good time for me right now.

Anyway, welcome. This is a wonderful place full of ladies who care.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:48am
Erin, Keep coming back to us with your troubles. I agree with the others about going back on meds and counseling. I know it's a step you don't want to take, but I think you would feel better. I am an emotional eater myself. Try to find something else to sooth you. I've been reading and answering messege boards. It helps to know you are not alone.

Find some time to be by yourself and do for yourself. I find I can't yell at anyone if there is no one around to yell at. :) Listen to music, read a book, take a walk, etc...Take Care of Yourself! Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 1:34pm
Hi, Erin!
AcornLeaves
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 6:37pm

Tam,


I totally agree with you.


Erin,


Welcome, to the board.

~Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 9:25am
I can so totally relate to going off the meds when you start to feel better - that is what i have done a handful of times and have to keep reminding myself that I cannot do that. It is hard because I HATE taking any type of medication. Heck when I was little my mom never even gave us Tylenol for a headache, so lord knows taking antidepressants is hard to handle.

Like someone else said - start taking your meds and stick with them. I know it is a bummer, but if that is what we have to do then that is what we have to do.

Chelle -
"This too shall pass"and "No man is worth your tears, and the one that is will NEVER make you cry."


Mommy with enough love in her heart for her seven kidlets, dh, and then some :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 6:20pm
Thank you everyone so much for replying to me! It gave me a new hope. I think I needed to get out all the things that have been bottling up lately. I am on my meds and my Dr has agreed that I should be off of them when I can, but once I do have to go back on to not quit after a week. Her plan was at least a month and then we'd see. I was in counseling 2 years ago and know that it helped a lot. The problem is finding something I can afford because now insurance won't cover it. On a happy note, I am feeling Good!!! My kids spent the night at my parents house and my husband and I went out for a nice dinner and rented a movie. Then this morning my night owl husband got up at 6 am to go garage saleing with me. The last 2 days have been much better. Your responses have been so positive and encouraging. Thank you so much!!!

Erin