VERY DEPRESSED!
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VERY DEPRESSED!
| Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:19am |
I have not written on this board for several months( I do not remember the last time I did.
I know that since I last wrote on this board , I have had a total knee replacement of my right knee (successfully and a repair of the meniscus on my left knee.My left knee is still giving me problems and last week I had it injected. I have also had problems with UTIs and last week I had a cystoscopy and dilation.I have also been having thyrod problems but my medication has been adjusted and my thyroid levels are now normal.
With so many of my physical problems under control I wonder why I am still so very depressed.It is hard to get up in the morning and hard to go to bed at night.I am overeating and very fatiigued and distracted. MY house is a amess becasue I do not have the eergy to clean it. I am so lonely.I cry a lot and do not remember things.
I put on a "happy face" so few peopl know how depressed I really am/
I still work part-time(usually 16 hours a week, but sometimes up to 22).I work mostly at nights and do not get home until after 10:15.I work a Lot of sSundays/
I work as a cashier, hate my job and it is hard for me to go to work.However, once I am there I do my job well.(I think)
I am on wellbutrin XL, Klonopn and Lamictal. I think I am pretty "maxed out" on the dosage levels. I see a psychiatrist about every 6 weeks for a meedication check and a counselor every other week.
I am so lonely and confused .There are days I think it is not worth it and I live because I love my husband and sone and I would not want to hurt them , especially my younger son.Theer are days I live only for him.
I am facing several silemmas that so not seem to have answers.I will write more about them later.Most of them canme to a a "head" around te holidays and they have left me very confused and . searching for aswers and tryong to resolve them.I do not know if I can resolve them
I had a wondrful counselor for for 7 years-in fact she went was the exception and went far beyond her role as counselor to help my family and me.Since she took another job with our insuarnce company I am not longer alowed to see her becaus of insurance company rules.
I see another counselor.I like her very much, but I hve mixed feelings about her and do not know how much she is helping me.I do not want to change counselors and start over. Most times I do no think I really say what I want to say when I see her and so I have been writieng her letters.She does not seem to mind but we usually do not discuss the letters; I can write about my feelings more easily than I can speak about them.
I think two of the problems are: that my old counselor could be blunt with me whhen she neededto be, but in a tactful way. She could also make me laugh and help talk me out of depression when I was severely depressed. She was also very open about her personal life.
After two years I know nothing about the counselorI am seeing right now.I know there is an issue of professionalism and counselors are not supposed to tell you much aout their personal lives. However, I have seen many counselors over the years and only one other one said nothing at all about his personal life. Is it unethical to want to know a few things about the counselor:like where she gother degrees,how much experience she has had as a counselor, if she is married and where she grew up(that is an important part of my therapy because where I grew up has a lot to do with some of the issues of am facing; she has hinted that she grew up inthe same area, but has nothing told me so directly. Is it unethical to ask her these things? Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you.careyfeel(Fran)
I know that since I last wrote on this board , I have had a total knee replacement of my right knee (successfully and a repair of the meniscus on my left knee.My left knee is still giving me problems and last week I had it injected. I have also had problems with UTIs and last week I had a cystoscopy and dilation.I have also been having thyrod problems but my medication has been adjusted and my thyroid levels are now normal.
With so many of my physical problems under control I wonder why I am still so very depressed.It is hard to get up in the morning and hard to go to bed at night.I am overeating and very fatiigued and distracted. MY house is a amess becasue I do not have the eergy to clean it. I am so lonely.I cry a lot and do not remember things.
I put on a "happy face" so few peopl know how depressed I really am/
I still work part-time(usually 16 hours a week, but sometimes up to 22).I work mostly at nights and do not get home until after 10:15.I work a Lot of sSundays/
I work as a cashier, hate my job and it is hard for me to go to work.However, once I am there I do my job well.(I think)
I am on wellbutrin XL, Klonopn and Lamictal. I think I am pretty "maxed out" on the dosage levels. I see a psychiatrist about every 6 weeks for a meedication check and a counselor every other week.
I am so lonely and confused .There are days I think it is not worth it and I live because I love my husband and sone and I would not want to hurt them , especially my younger son.Theer are days I live only for him.
I am facing several silemmas that so not seem to have answers.I will write more about them later.Most of them canme to a a "head" around te holidays and they have left me very confused and . searching for aswers and tryong to resolve them.I do not know if I can resolve them
I had a wondrful counselor for for 7 years-in fact she went was the exception and went far beyond her role as counselor to help my family and me.Since she took another job with our insuarnce company I am not longer alowed to see her becaus of insurance company rules.
I see another counselor.I like her very much, but I hve mixed feelings about her and do not know how much she is helping me.I do not want to change counselors and start over. Most times I do no think I really say what I want to say when I see her and so I have been writieng her letters.She does not seem to mind but we usually do not discuss the letters; I can write about my feelings more easily than I can speak about them.
I think two of the problems are: that my old counselor could be blunt with me whhen she neededto be, but in a tactful way. She could also make me laugh and help talk me out of depression when I was severely depressed. She was also very open about her personal life.
After two years I know nothing about the counselorI am seeing right now.I know there is an issue of professionalism and counselors are not supposed to tell you much aout their personal lives. However, I have seen many counselors over the years and only one other one said nothing at all about his personal life. Is it unethical to want to know a few things about the counselor:like where she gother degrees,how much experience she has had as a counselor, if she is married and where she grew up(that is an important part of my therapy because where I grew up has a lot to do with some of the issues of am facing; she has hinted that she grew up inthe same area, but has nothing told me so directly. Is it unethical to ask her these things? Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you.careyfeel(Fran)

Hugs, Brenda
Welcome back, Fran!