Just Saw Counsellor

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Just Saw Counsellor
4
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:31pm
Okay, I went and saw Bettie.

I told her about what's been going on - my ex, my meds change etc.

I also got really honest with her. I have always felt that I have to hold on to some shred of "sanity". Not that I am insane. But I know that I have been on the edge of a serious break-down for years. I told her how every time I drive somewhere, I see trees and I want to park my car, walk into the bush and just disappear. I told her how I went for a walk yesterday and just wanted to die. I don't consider myself suicidal, I just thought it would be okay to be attacked by a bear and die. Or get hit by a bus crossing the street or something. I haven't really told anybody most of this stuff before, and I have been in therapy for years.

So I am thinking my pdoc may want to put me in the hospital. I don't want a leave from work and not have anything to do. I would drive myself absolutely nuts. I have thought that alot, that I would just like to let it all out and be put somewhere where I will be able to cry, scream, swear, spit, kick, be angry, be sad etc.

Anyway, Bettie made me promise to tell him all these things.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:03pm
Pamela,

I am sorry that you are having all of these emotions and at the same time..I can relate to how tough things can get and how it just drains you of almost every ounce of sanity...

I am not exactly on with words today I just want to let you know that I am thinking about you, since you have always been there for me I just wanted to let you know that I am also here for you....

Take care of you sweetie..

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:10pm
Awwww...Erin. It means so much to me that you posted, even though you are having trouble with words. It means just as much to me.

Thanks so much sweetie.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:24pm

((((((((((((Pamela )))))))))))


Im sooo glad you got that all out and that Bettie was there for you!!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:58pm

Honey, your commitment to your own healing journey is so strong.

AcornLeaves