hanging by a thread

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
hanging by a thread
1
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 2:10pm
This is my first time on the message board. Depression seems to run in our family, but this is my first experience with severe depression. My husband of almost 25 years told me 2 months ago that he has been having an affair with a mutual acquaintance and that she fills the need for intimacy and emotional support that I didn't give him. I've had problems with sexual dysfunction for a long time and guess have been in "denial" that it has been a major problem in our marriage. But always loved him. He's told me that he cannot give up the other relationship that is so fulfilling, that our marriage cannot be "fixed" and forsees us eventually separating. He is polite, so sorry and detached.

We will have to continue living as "roommates" in our house as neither of us has the $$ to live separately until months from now when the house is ready to sell. He cannot move in with her as she has major mental health issues (DID) and needs to live independently as part of her healing process. I have tailspinned down into a major depression, see a therapist, just got antidepressants, etc. but due to our living situation see him every day. I just can't stop panicking, thinking negative thoughts, feeling like I'll never be happy again, and so fearful about the future. Our only child, 18, is going away to college in the fall. She has been told about the situation and is so supportive of me, but there are just too many losses all at once, and I'm dreading her leaving. Every day it's a chore just to get up and do the basics, go to work and try to get things done as the constant anxious "mind movies" are always there. Can anyone give advice???
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 2:19pm
((((((Carolita)))))), I'm so sorry to hear this!
AcornLeaves