Just having a blue blue blue day
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| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 3:53pm |
I know I'm rambling but I just need to let this out. So many things are bothering me right now I just don't know what to concentrate on. Where do I start? Sometimes I wonder who I really am anymore. I've got our credit card debt up to where there is no way we'll get out and we are in desperate need of money. Our daughters medical bills are piling up fast, but I just cannot stop spending. I want it all! I just want a hug! I want someone to understand and help me and tell me it will be okay. I can't stop crying, my daughter is so wonderful (granted she's only 3 yrs old) and is patting me on the back saying it's okay mommy. I don't like her to see me like this. I hope she never remembers. I remember my mom's depression when I was so young and her breakdown. How devastating to see. So, I try not to cry when she is around, but to be honest, that's 24/7. I'm a stay at home mom. How do you find time to go off and vent and cry! Here, I guess! I'm just stuck and don't know where to turn.
(((((((((((((HELP)))))))))))))))
Chris

((((((Chris)))))), you know we are here for you, as I am sure the Parkinson's board also is.
It is hard for me to find a sitter. My daughter has a heart defect and we have to be very careful about who she is around and sickness. My only two babysitters can only watch her at night, which does help so that my husband and I can spend some time together.
I am on an antidepressant and did increase it last week. Today has just been a very down day. My therapist is the one who had the heart attack not to long ago and we lost him. I haven't found anybody as of yet. I am considering calling my priest though. It just seems like one thing after another and I just don't know how much more I can take. I know I'll get thru it eventually, but I'm so tired of dealing with all of this.
Thanks so much for your support. I really appreciate it! I just don't know what to do from here.
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse
Chris, I'm sorry.
About your mom's Parkinsons, Im so sorry you have to go through this. If you can take any comfort away from this is that in a lot of cases the people around the ill family member suffer more from watching them, than their suffering themselves. I think your continuous love and support is wonderful. Keep it up and please talk to someone about how you feel so that they can help you deal with it. Im glad you found the Parkinsons board.
I think we all see things differently from our parents at at least one pnt in our lives so please dont kick yourself about it. When you live your mistakes, you learn them better and become a stronger person right?!
As far as the credit card debt....CUT UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS. Get a financial advisor, cut all the spending corners. Each of you should have a specific budget and you can spend no more. Example, you have $10 ech wk u can spend on yourself, well its up to u how to spend it but you cant spend more until next wk..no exceptions. There is a budget msg board here somewhere too. Go to the library and look up bks on financial advice. Have a budget for everything. HAve categories for each cost..food, hydro, heat, etc. Trust me its hard work but worth it.
It sounds like you are spending out of sadness. Please REPLACE that habit. Replace it with walking, jogging, knitting, sewing, drawing, writing, playing with your DD, etc. Make sure you replace the habit. Have a backup plan for when you have the urge to spend unwisely.
Please continue to post here, and please please at least try to take my advice and let me know how you are doing! Maybe you need a few hours each week to be on your own to get some fresh air or something. Arrange it with Dh. All the best and take care hun. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!
Everybody have a good day!
LOL,
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse