I thought I was doing better
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| Tue, 05-18-2004 - 9:51am |
I am feeling so dizzy pretty much all the time right now. And last Wednesday I had a really huge burst of anger. And last night, too. I used to have a really horrible temper, but I haven't really had problems with it for a long time. Now last night my computer still isn't working properly, and my mouse is all messed up. I took my mouse and slammed it against my desk as hard as I could. The scary thing was, I feel like I kind of blacked out or something. I felt so angry and dizzy, it was pretty scary.
I don't even want anything to do with my family anymore. They dont' show any love and/or affection and I am sick of it. I get more care from this board, the Compulsive Overeating board, my co-workers, and my chosen family. I just want my real family to go away. My sister called me on Sat to wish me happy birthday, and I could hear my brother talking in the background. After my sis and I hung up, my brother called me back and said "happy birthday...bye". I was so hurt that I said "thanks, bye." and hung up. I told my mom about it this morning, and I said that he should know better than that after all I have been going through. And of course my mom stands up for her ^%#^%$ precious son (who she has favored since day one) and says "yeah, but does he know what you are going through?". Well, maybe he should get his head out of his butt and notice when someone is pretty much suicidal.
Sorry, I am so angry right now.
Pamela

I am so sorry hun that you are going thru such a hard time right now, know what it is like to have such horrible outbusts of anger, I get like that alot these past few weeks...
Ids it the welburtrin that you are taking, I am not too familiar with anti depressants I take mood stabilizers have you talked with your doctor about them maybe they may help you a bit...
My family isnt exactly the best eather my sister and I dont talk my mom and I are just starting to be close after 29 years of being distant, my dad doesnt know if any of us are alive or dead I could go on and on I think that it is just hard for our families to be there for us when we really need them, but I am glad that you feel that you get a ton of support at the boards here at ivillage I feel the same way..
I wish that I had a ton of great words for you ust please know that I am here for you all of us are and dont get down you are such an awesome person with such a huge heart....
erin
You always have such supportive posts. I really appreciate it.
Pamela
Pamela, honey, I hope you have called your doctor to let him know about this.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Pamela))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Take care. Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
Barb - I do journal everyday. I haven't had a chance to check out those links yet as my computer at home is still screwy. I have the email saved, and I do plan on checking them out. I will let you know what I get a chance to check them out.
Pamela